In the Morning:

A computer crash to start my day.
Paper clip.
Directions.
Summer reading club.
Festival schedule.
CDs.
Printer advice.
Mad about Mia, about Millie Criswell.
Press conference? What press conference?
Printer problem.
"Book, pre-christ to 1700, like Nefertiti."
"Where are the people to fill out your tax forms?"
'91 Mazda 323 repair manual.
Pen.
If You Want to Be Rich and Happy, Don't Go to School, by Robert T Kiyosaki.
The floppy disk is in the A: drive, sir.
Staple remover.
"Where are your photocopiers?"
Stapler.
Art of War, by Sun Tzu.
Newspaper microfilm.

In the Evening:

Resume books.
Missing wallet is found.
How to Get Into the Top Law Schools, by Glade B. Curtis and Judith Schuler.
Books listing campgrounds.
Baby names.
"Typewriter?" Sorry.
Immigration forms we don't have.
Robinson Crusoe, by Daniel Defoe (unabridged).
Children's books.
Printing advice.
All in a Lifetime, by Ruth K. Westheimer.
Children's nonfiction.
Sheet music: L'Amour-Toujours-L'Amour.
Bathroom.
"Can these be checked out?" No.
Help with the finicky printer.
A description of our databases.

Computer Signups: 6

In the Morning:

Summer reading club signup.
Directions and a parking question.
Power Juices Super Drinks by Steve Meyerowitz.
Camera repair.
Weed trimmer repair.
I printed out another document for the sight-impaired guy.
Computer crash.
'96 Dodge Caravan repair manual.
Computer Crash.
A Catcher in the Rye, by J. D. Salinger (The patron insisted on spelling "rye").
Computer Crash.

In the Afternoon:

Magic Lantern Guide to Nikon F80/F80.
"Where are you located?"
"I need a book on medicines."
Spanish language instruction tapes.
Printing advice.
More printing advice.
Still more printing advice.
"Do you know anyone who is looking for custodial work?"
Resume books.
Someone stole the latest issue of Cosmopolitan.
"You have any jobs for high school students this summer?"
The song Cupid, by 112
City directories.
Nearby paper.
From the Earth to the Moon, by Jules Verne.
Don't Miss Out (A book on scholarships).
The Best Way to Save for College, by Joseph Hurley.

Internet Signups: 42

In the Morning:

Our spanish language computer workshop was cancelled, but we had trouble telling this to the one student because we didn't know spanish.
Bathroom Key.
1 patron = 2 computer crashes.
Books on tumbling.
A computer station login issue.
How do you delete? You push the delete button, sir.
"The printer won't ... uh ... print."
1040A
Pell grants and website advice.
Four internet station crashes.
Network problems.
Bathroom?
Bathroom? Follow that guy.
Another crash.

In the Afternoon:

Calendar.
I retrieve an old newspaper for a lady, who decides it isn't the one she wants and makes me retrieve another one. Gripe gripe.
Why is it that everyone who still needs tax forms doesn't know how to use a computer?
Notary.
A gentlemen lost his glasses, inspiring him to philosophize a bit.
Newspaper.
Cheetahs.
Community college schedule.
Pell grant forms. Turns out that's what the FAFSA forms are.
Directions to the biographies.
A woman DESPERATE for financial aid.
Saturday's paper, then, sigh, the Saturday before that.
Dirty work, by Stuart Woods.
No Second Chance, by Harlan Coben.
Armageddon, by Tim HaHaye and Jerry Jenkins.
No running!
Algebra books.
I said no running!
Kiss in the Hotel Joesph Conrad and Other Stories, by Howard Norman.
Books on Hitler.
"Voice Analism."
Time to reset the online catalog.
A patron is unclear on "Ten cents a copy."

Internet Signups: 31

In the Afternoon:

An Internet user performed an illegal operation.
And another, the scoundrel!
Phone books for distant cities.
Not that printer, sir, the other one.
"Jerargia" isn't in "The Webster Dictionary." (Nor the OED. The patron was astounded)
Today's paper.
Printer advice.
More printer advice, having to do with frames.
Math books.
Still more printer advice.
See above.
An author named Doyle. No, not that one. Not that one either.
Ruler. Ours vanished long ago.
It's T.C. Boyle, not Doyle.
A nursery in a nearby town.

Later that Afternoon:

Printer advice.
I show a patron how to load the microfilm.
Stapler.
"I'd like that book with all the mutual funds in it," and he didn't mean Morningstar.
Another microfilm lesson.
Classified ads.
A nearby library calls to see if we have Lessons From History, by Charlotte Crabtree, and two others. Geez, our catalog's online; why don't they just look there? I mean, a patron, okay, but a librarian??
Story of Ourselves, ed. by Michael O'Tunnel and Richard Ammons.
Lies my Teacher Told Me, by James Loewen.
Story in History, by someone or other.
Like it Was, a Complete Guide to Writing History, by Cynthia Stokes Brown.

Internet signups: 13

In the Afternoon:

Books of synonyms and antonyms.
Take Me Out to the Ballgame (recording).
"How do you use the probate files?"
Los de Abajo, by Mariano Azuela, and four other novels in Spanish.
Pancho Villa.
Emily Dickinson.
The shortage continues. I sneak into an office and steal a box of pencils.
Online ESL courses.
Clothing of the Eighties. Not an assignment, I learn. It was for a party. In the Nineties they had Seventies revival parties ...
Copier help.
A lost book issue is wrongly referred to us (I have a friendly chat with the receptionist).
Today's paper.
Our talkiest patron comes in.
Romeo and Juliet Cliff's Notes.

Internet Signups: 12

In the evening:

Horoscope books.
Real estate books.
Adult literacy books.
A library fine question that shouldn't have come to us.
1999-2001 high school yearbooks.
Books on the Nineties.
Divorce handbook, with forms on disk.
Books on carpentry projects, I think.
Ultra Black Hair Growth II: 6" Longer 1 Year from Now, by Cathy Howse.
"Where is Adult Fiction?"
Books on the Nineties. Being out, I show him books on the twentieth century. "That would have the Nineties in it?"
"Poem books," for her "Poem class."
"Sports of the Nineties." The same brain-dead kids.
The poem girl returns.
"I'm looking for two girls that came here."
The carpentry guy comes in.
Mark Twain biographies.
"Where are the kid's books?"
Printer advice.
Internet woes.
Friday's paper, which I could not locate, allowing the patron to sigh righteously over our incompetence.
"Are you a notary?"
Books on the Holocaust.
Fetal Development.
The names of our senators (The patron's going to take the citizenship exam).
Revenge Waves in Unprotected Waters, by Anne Tyler. The kid needed this short story by tomorrow, but I could not find an anthology that had it. I managed to locate it in a 1977 issue of The New Yorker, but the microfiche reader died after we had printed page one.

Internet signups: 4