In the Morning:

Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret, by Judy Blume.
City directories.
She didn't seem to believe me when I told her where the hardcover fiction was.
"Do you have any reading glasses I can borrow?"
Pen.
Today's paper.
Autobiography of Malcolm X, by Malcolm X and Alex Haley.
You can buy a disc at the circ desk, ma'am.
Back issues of Scientific American for checkout.
Nursing assistant guidebooks.
1040X
Paper and pencil.
Dictionaries.
"I meant medical dictionaries." Grr.
I get a sick joy sometimes when I listen to the "computer illiterate" try to explain their technical problems.

In the Afternoon:

Bus schedule.
Local attorneys.
Sheet music for Harbor lights, Green grass of home, Mammas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys, 'Til the last teardrop falls, and one other I can't remember.
Bathroom?
Eminem books.
Computer workshop schedule, whoops, he just wanted to know which room.
Solar system maps.
Map of Palestine (not Israel) and printer advice.
More printer advice.
Microfilm machine won't focus.
ASVAB book.
Today's paper.
To the nines, by Janet Evanovich.
A patron stopped by, blabbed what I gather was a library joke, and moved on.
Monkey's raincoat, Stalking the angel, Lullaby town, and Free fall by Robert Crais.
Competitive runner's handbook, by Bob Glover.

Internet Signups: 57

In the Morning:

He wants to fill out the ILL forms himself.
It looked like they were sharing popcorn, but it was a handful of wrapped candy, which is acceptable.
Fun with the family in Michigan, by William Semion.
Carpal tunnel books.
Two notarizations.
"The most up-to-date phone book."
Computer crash.
Zip code book.
Phone number for the "American Historical Society" (She meant the American Historic Society).
Follow the river, by James Alexander Thom.
Yes, the computers over there have FrontPage.
Stapler.
An Internet user told me that another internet user had assaulted him, twice (not in the library) and asked me to call the police.
Latino biographies.
Local employment info.

In the Afternoon:

Apparently the police did visit, but nothing much happened.
We don't have any job openings at the moment. Sorry.
Fax number for a nearby newspaper.
"What are your cell phone rules?"
Printer advice.
Books on PowerPoint.
Paper and pencil.
A child tells her mother "I hate turning six!"
Local port authority number.

Internet Signups: 28

In the Morning:

Math books.
Permission for the study room.
Stapler.
A donation in memory of ...
Interlibrary loan question.
Book recommendations. Later he gave up on summer reading and asked for books on playing golf.
Pencil. Then she actually wanted it sharpened.
Today's scheduled meeting room event is cancelled.
"We're computer illiterate ..." They just bought a used laptop. At least they knew they had Windows 98.
Ratings for 2003 and 2004 cars.
Instrumentation and Orchestration, by Alfred Blatter.
Criss-cross, and like many people who ask for one, he was rude about it.
'97 Dodge Grand Caravan price from NADA. I was accused of reading it wrong over the phone.

In the Afternoon:

The coldest winter ever, by Sister Souljah.
Pencil. He insisted strongly that he would return it.
Do we ILL DVDs? No.
Event signup.
Online catalogs? There's a couple over there, sir.
Weight training.
Car craft magazine (June).
I kick two kids off an internet terminal.
Some guy wants to be our PR person.
Morningstar back issues.
I kick the same kids out of the stacks for running.
"You have something called a criss-cross directory?" She, however, was not rude.
Two more kids in the stacks, but I discover that they aren't pulling books off the shelves at random. They had discovered the dinosaurs section.
"Do you have books of stories?"
"The childrens librarian on that plaque over there? Did she die?"
"Little Princess." She thought the author's name is Crawford. But when I pull up Marion Crawford's Little Princesses she shakes her head no and wanders away.
She came back asking for "the last two" Harry Potter books, then changed it to "The first and last."
Physics books.
Our hours tomorrow.

Internet Signups: 12

In the Morning:

Computer crash.
Extensive printer advice.
I print out a document for a sight-impaired patron.
Change for a dollar? Other desk.
She left her disc here yesterday.
Crime Partners, by Donald Goines.
Ladies room.
Internet crash.
You need an adult library card to use the computers, ma'am.
Printer advice.
Printer advice.
Yellow pages.
Printer advice.
He needs an obituary but the year he needs is not indexed.
Pep Boys phone number.
Internet crash.
WIndows' multiple screens confuse a patron.
Internet crash.
Word processor advice I am not qualified to give.
Tuesday's paper.
Book club signup.
Local historical photos. She then wanted to discuss them at length.
Directions to the kids section.
Pen.
Nine Anne Rice novels on tape.
Lake house, by James Patterson.

In the Afternoon:

It was a quiet shift, so I told Librarian X and Librarian Y all about last night's dream, where I was not only naked in public but flying at the time.
"Do you have books on CD?"
Book club signup.
Boys, stop hitting each other.
Today's paper didn't arrive again.
Books in Spanish.
Automatic transmission repair.
Cockatiels.
Anatomy.
Citizenship exam books.
Book club signup.
"Human behavior" was the closest she could narrow it down to, but she found some stuff.
Hunger of memory: the education of Richard Rodriguez, by Richard Rodriguez.
"Ingles basico?"

Internet Signups: 35

In the Afternoon:

Tape.
Change for a dollar? Not at this desk.
Four notarizations.
Cordina's crown jewel, by Nora Roberts
Today's paper, which never arrived.
Drivers licence facility in another town. Much screaming in the background.

In the Evening:

Citizenship exam practice tapes in Spanish.
She needed a notary, but for someone else's signiture. We couldn't help her.
Printer advice.
Today's paper. Sigh.
ILL pickup, wrong desk.
Stapler.
Our phone number.
Coffee will make you black, by April Sinclair.
The language barrier foils a reference interview.
Lease forms.
A man searches for his little brother, but this being a library it wasn't as exciting an adventure as it could be.
Our insane future library technician is back.
Meeting room scheduling screwup.
Print server crash.
A man thinks we have his ID.
I don't care if you're teaching the kid to count using dewey numbers, shut the fuck up! (I didn't really say that)
My shoes are admired.

Internet Signups: 26

In the Morning:

Gas company phone.
Scissors.
Copier advice.
Department of labor phone.
The dogs of Babel, by Carolyn Parkhurst.
Flirting with Pete, by Barbara Delinsky.
Changing habits, by Debbie Macomber.
The other woman, by Eric Jerome Dickey.
Copier advice (You put the paper flat on the glass, sir).
Computer crash.
I tell two kids to shut up.
Yesterday's paper.
BOCA code book.
Notary.
Printer advice.
Printer advice.
"How do I get Yahoo to come?"
"Are you closed July 4?"
Making ice cream.
Bathroom.
I tell two other kids to shut up.
Road atlas.
Today's paper.
How to send an email attachment. Twice.
Yay! We printed out a color picture correctly!

In the Afternoon:

Literature for composition, by Sylvan Barnet.
She needs a library card.
Travel brochures.
Printer advice.
Printer advice.
An old lady can't play her audiobook because it's damaged.
Today's paper.
ASVAB book.
Hawaii travel books.
A gentleman returns a pencil with great formality.
Screaming child.
Origami books.
Coping with nightmares.
Grant writing.
"When do you close?"
"Community policing."
Five notarizations.
May 2003 Consumer reports.
June 2003 Consumer reports.
Color printer woes.

Internet Signups: 42