In the Morning:

"It won't print."
More printer advice.
Scratch paper.
Nursing exam books.
City housing guide.
Lifetime encyclopedia of letters, by Harold B. Meyer.
"It won't go to Yahoo. It just sits there."
Computer workshop schedule.
ASVAB books.
"How do I erase all this stuff?"
Books on photography and prostrate cancer.
"I want to print out my credit report."
Fax.

In the Afternoon:

Where's the Mexican consulate?
Printer advice.
Rich dad, poor dad, by Robert Kiyosaki.
A big family at one tiny computer.
Sorry sir, when an inmate is released they remove him from the database.
He's delighted to find that we have graphic novels and thanks me over and over.
3-hole punch.
Copier advice.
What you have there is not an email address, sir.
Bathroom?
I leave to conduct a workshop. No one shows up. I return.
State tax forms.
The sexy years, by Suzanne Somers.
Jamaica.
The patron has been transferred twice. I transfer him again.
The third degree, by James Patterson and Andrew Gross, and The amateur marriage, by Anne Tyler.

In the Evening:

STDs
Copier advice.
Foreign Service Exam book.
Pictures of atomic blasts.
Copier advice.
Lost cell phone. The directions are in Spanish. But one of the directory entries is "Mi Casa."
Massachusetts tax forms.
David Beckham.
Geez it's loud in here tonight.
My microfilm reader lecture.
CDs are downstairs, ma'am.
Dictionary.
Copier advice.
Rewinding the microfilm.
Copier advice (reducing).
Lost floppy is found.
Newspapers. "All of them."
My bloody life, by Reymundo Sanchez.
Poetry books in English or Spanish.
Basic computer books in Spanish.
Eddie Murphy.

In the Afternoon:

George Orwell.
The raven, by Edgar Allen Poe, "with footnotes explaining the old english."
Sorry sir, you can't attach headphones to our computers.
County Clerk's office. She thought this WAS the County Clerk's office.
Word 5.0 for the Mac.
WPs are over there, ma'am.
Librarian Y is sick. I leave to cover her workshop.

In the Evening:

Games and "books of affirmations."
Printer advice.
IE freezes up.
Harriet Tubman.
That's not a book ma'am. That's a journal article.
Billie Holiday.
They'll make change at the front desk, ma'am.
Pictures of Gwen Stefani.
IE freezes.
Copier advice.
"We need a river."
"Stuff" about the Constitution.
Computer workshop info.
The great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Also Cliff's notes.
Acrobat's update feature has an annoying habit of hiding behind the browser window so you can't see it, but it won't let you use the browser until you click on it.
Debit card machine info.
I know I've heard that phone ringer tune before but I can't place it. It's driving me crazy.
She searches for an obit. She doesn't have the date.
I remember the tune now! It was something from NFL films (not "Drunken sailor").
Another "the last page it printed is blank!" lament.
The will, by "Arvin Reed."
A list of all who died on 9/11.
He gets pissed because he can't work his debit card.

In the Afternoon:

The new copier is so cunning no one can figure out where the paper comes out.
Fax.
Try the kids section, ma'am.
Another fax, which takes 15 minutes. This isn't working too well ...
Like water for chocolate on video.
My bloody life, by Reymundo Sanchez.
"Hello, excellent reference staff!" she says but, happily, passes by without asking a question.
Local history books, especially about the trolleys.
Obesity.
Printer advice.
Get off that cell phone, sir (at least it didn't have a stupid ring noise, just a loud one).
A patron tells us all about the state boys basketball finals.
Another patron fooled by the copier.
Printer advice.
That's it. Thank goodness.

In the Morning:

I should have called in sick again today ...
Jim Crow laws.
Reboot.
I do a fax.
ILL snafu.
State tax form.
Printer advice for the same patron for the umpteenth time.
Sunday's classifieds.
The Da Vinci code, by Dan Brown, on tape.
Sorry sir, you need proof of residence if you want to register to vote.
Missing floppy.
Printer advice.
"Are those computers for jobs?"
Yes sir, you logged out correctly.
A two year-old has escaped.
The brotherhood, by Stephen Knight.
Coaching basketball.
An overdue book question comes to me.
Reboot.
Sorry sir, no laminating here.
Copier advice.
The gospel according to Harry Potter and What's a christian to do with Harry Potter? by Connie Neal, and God, the Devil, and Harry Potter, by John Killinger.
Irate patron. I knew I should have called in sick ...

In the Afternoon:

Vatican City travel books, and stuff on Catholicism.
Bathroom?
Althea Gibson.
Missing floppy.
1987 issue of Time.
Bruce Lee.
California blue, by David Klass.
Printer advice.
Drinking fountain in the lobby, sir.
WPs are over there, sir.
Copier's over there, sir.
Computer workshop advice.
He checks again for his lost floppy.
Furniture staining.
Books by E Lynn Harris.
Holds at circ, sir.
Fax. I don't like our new service at all.
Driving directions.
A stangling noise and a thump from one of the study rooms. It's a good thing from my angle I can't see what's going on.
That's a library catalog, sir, not an internet terminal.
Blues from down deep, by Gwynne Forster.
The books of blood, by Clive Barker.
That's a library catalog, ma'am, not an internet terminal. Sigh.
Computer workshop info.
Books about Clive Barker, a hard man to find.

In the Afternoon:

Sunday's paper.
"Free money to change your life, by Mathew Lesko.
Biographies.
He's enjoying the BBC Hitchhiker's guide, but wants to know if it will tell him the question of life, the universe, etc.
Tax forms.
1989 Chevrolet Corvette repair manual.
State tax form.
Through a quick turn to pretend to straighten the newspapers I manage to avoid dealing with a certain patron.
Stapler.
Criss-cross.
Certainly you can print that, sir.
She claims we have an audioCD of Great expectations. I insist we don't. ... She is right.
Yearbooks.
Disks are fifty cents, sir.
A phone transfer goes awry.
Phone book.
More yearbooks. She takes my name when I tell her we don't have those years.

In the Evening:

My head is killing me.
Paul Klee.
Too young for the computers.
You can view the text larger, but you can't print it larger.
We close at nine, ma'am.
Printer advice.
Choose any machine you want, ma'am.
WPs are over there, sir.
Bad CD drive.
Books by Shel Silverstein, but for adults.
Mortgage loan something-or-other.
Parole violators for a presentation due tomorrow.
Our drives snarl at another patron's disk.
It takes me ten minutes to do a two-sided copy.
The Symbionese Liberation Army.
Printer advice.
Microfilm having to do with Patty Hearst.
English/Spanish dictionaries.
The front desk will make change, sir.
Microfilm machine advice.
Her email login isn't working.
Form 2106.
Lots of opera, but the score? Libretto? She doesn't know.