In contrast to the last post, recently I showed a ten year-old boy the murder books. He spots In cold blood. "Kansas! BTK" No, I say, it's not related to BTK. He thinks about it while his mother stands behind him, beaming at her lovely son.

Mother: Where do I put books I don't want?
Me: (Taking a large picture book on coral reefs) I'll take care of it.
Mother: Thank you.
Daughter: But I want to check it out.
Mother: You can't. We're checking out these books.
Daughter: But it's got fishes in it!
Me: Do you want it?
Mother: (To me) Don't listen to her.
Daughter: But I want it! It's got fishes!
Mother: Come along ... (Exit)

What a mean mother ...

In the Afternoon
(After I decide to do an entry, that is ...)

Before the last teardrop falls, by Freddy Fender.
Fax.
Librarian K is mesmerized by a toddler. For the next fifteen minutes I do all of the work.
Your computer isn't frozen, sir; their server is.
Local paper.
Fax.
I think she's asking how to post a picture into a Word document.
DVDs up here. VHS's downstairs, sir. I don't understand it either.
Sorry, ma'am, I don't speak Spanish.
February 28 newspapers.
CEP tax service question.
Information on power plants.
1978 newspaper article.
Computer login help, i.e., it helps if they type their name correctly.
The millionth request for The fire next time, by James Baldwin, and Born on the 4th of July, by Ron Kovic. School assignment.
Our new Haines directory is delivered.
Fax.
Patterson's American education. The patron hums out of tune a lot.
"I need a good book on psychology." He narrowed it down to "conversations."
"All my icons are missing. All that's there is a picture of a black man."
Yes, we have that newspaper. No, we don't offer Spanish classes.
A Strong's concordance.
Computer reset.
Another computer reset (same computer).
I log in an out-of-state patron.
Van Helsing.
"How to buy a home, made easy."
GED books.
Car repair manuals.
To use the computer type your barcode in, sir.
Kelley blue book.
Type your barcode there, sir, right where it says "Your Barcode."
Computer reset.
Change at the front desk, sir.
A patron sneaks up on me while I'm skimming an online article about Annabel Chong. Happily, it's work-safe.
George Eliot.
Printer advice.
Computer reset.

Yesterday:

"I need books about Marcus Gravy." You mean Marcus Garvey? "Garvey, Gravy, whatever."

In the Afternoon:

Type your barcode in to start an online session.
Tax forms are over there.
Sorry, I don't know if Napoleon Dynamite is any good.
Type your barcode ...
Pencil.
"I need a magazine article and I need your help because I know things are not like they used to be ..."
They're too loud, but it's a mother explaining the online catalog to her young daughter. I grit my teeth.
They leave, and and their computer has crashed.
Directions to the library.
Cromagnon man.
Conviction, by Leonard Levitt.
The wedding, by Nicholas Sparks.
Type your barcode ...
Type your barcode ...
CD-ROMs are downstairs, sir.
I ask for her to remove her baby, but she's just leaving anyway.
The call number is that number on the spine, ma'am.
I read that the new Microsoft Search Engine doesn't index Blogspot (owned by Google) pages. This one doesn't come up. Hmm ...
Don't run!
Identity theft? Call the FBI.
You print from this machine here, sir.
Type your barcode ...
Galileo.
Microsoft Word is that blue "W," ma'am.
I give a lady extra time on a WP so she can do her footnotes.
Printer advice.
More printer advice.
Dictionaries are over here, sir.
Oh god, more printer advice. Same patron all three times.
I cancel a computer reservation.
She doesn't read the debit card machine directions, and I get sighed at.
William Harvey.
The local paper online.
Yes, you can take you kid to the kids section, ma'am. That's what it's for.
I extend a man's time so he can finish an application.
Kids' books are downstairs, ma'am.
Today's paper.
I extended the wrong computer's time and he lost his application. I apologize a lot.
A book called "Faith under fire," but which one?
Stapler.
MORE printer advice for the same guy. And it's a bust. He didn't save and now it's gone.
Printer advice for other people.
Sorry, I can't extend your time. We're closing.

An amazingly tall woman asks if oversized books can be checked out. Well, I found it funny.