In the Morning:

If Hotmail doesn't like that password, ma'am, there's nothing I can do about it.
Local employment office.
Out of town computer user.
Printer advice.
Printer advice.
Printer advice.
Copier advice.
Printer advice (Look down, sir. There's your copy).
Some book in Spanish. I forget now.
The microfilm reader dies.
How to get a library card.
The microfilm reader dies again.
Don't run!
If he returns a video in the drop box, is it late?
The microfilm reader dies a third time.
Outdoor life.
Sorry ma'am. That computer won't print.
We're a depository library, but we can't let patrons see the holdings at the moment for some reason.

In the Afternoon:

Computers are there, ma'am, and bathrooms are over there.
Talk to them about a library card, ma'am.
Libarian Y runs up to my screen. "Is that food?"
Obit search.
Some German genealogical cds which won't work on any of our machines.
Pencil.
Costochondritis.
Awww! Isn't it cute the teeny weeny little screaming bawling baby! Get her out of here!
Bathrooms are down there, sir.

Later in the Afternoon:

Our sheriff in 1930-1935.
Sherriff's office phone (different patron).
A book called "Why we are here," or maybe "God's purpose;" she can't remember.
They'll register your card over there, sir.
The print station is at the same place it was before, sir.
Zip code directory, A-M.
Why yes, sir, they did move the stacks around.
He lost his translucent green floppy.
Today's paper.
A complaint about our depository being off limits for the time being.

Yesterday:

"Do you have a book called Night, by Ellie Weasley?"

In the Morning:
A musician asks for the spelling of "maiden" and "voyage."

In the Afternoon:
Printer advice.
We lose a hold on a Nora Roberts book, and the patron can't remember the title.
Undead and unemployed, by MaryJanice Davidson.
They'll stamp your parking ticket over there, ma'am.
Videos about Mount Rushmore.
Where's our ILL lady?
Someone shut that baby up, please.
"I was just listening to my cellphone. I wasn't talking to it."
Stuttering.
Three young women at two computers keep hugging.
You can buy a printing card over there, sir.
"Which of the DVDs are free?"
Fax.
They're still hugging.
No cell phones, ma'am (actually, all I had to do was look at her and she got all contrite).
Back issues of newspapers are over there, ma'am.
No cell phones, sir.
Phone book.
She's two cents short of a photocopy.
She sneaks into the stacks to use her cell phone.
Puerto Rico travel.
Book sale is downstairs, ma'am.
Library card photos over there, ma'am.
"Instruction manuals on how to throw a football."
Natural cures, by Kevin Trudeau.
Bathroom.
By his loud voice we can all tell he thinks we're a ripoff.
A lot of printer advice.
National treasure.
Someone wants a movie called "Lake Palisades"
"You got a movie called Willie the fish?"
Printer advice.
You pay for a print card over ... oh, never mind. It printed for free.
More printer advice.
I can't find a DVD to save my life today.
Bathrooms?
Skins and Lakota woman.
Both our microfilm readers are broken.
It's 5:30. We close at six. No way the book she wants will come down from processing before she leaves on vacation tomorrow morning.
It's too late, sir. The internet terminals won't let you log on.
A whole lot of books, the only one we owned being The giver, by Lois Lowry.
Have a happy and not-too-hot weekend.

In the Morning:

"Where's your history section? I just read a book on the history of supermarkets. Do you have any other history books?"
Windows 2000 books.
Resume books. "What's a resume?"
How to get on our computer.
Printer advice.
Reboot. "Stupid computer," she says after not saving.
Guest pass for a computer.
A tour. Loud children and lots of Shhhing.
Endless questions about local collections, and parking.
Printer advice. One computer is printing for free!
You can check out DVDs over there, ma'am.
Copier advice.
More printer advice.
Fax.
Cell phones outside, sir. (New rule)
A replacement comes and I go off to weed the 000's. Oh, joy.

In the afternoon a bookshelf that collapsed on Friday collapses again.

At the ALA Convention
McCormick Center, Room N228, 1:30-3:30 PM

Introductions. I've forgotten the names of the panelists already.
No difference between online reference and other reference ...
... except for the tools.
We look at some ref protocols.
Don't use too many scripts. Personalize.
Make the email ref form good.
Get the patron involved in the answering process.
Approachability.
Doors slamming. This session is not for everyone.
Everyone laughs at something I think is "wonder.com." "Google answers minus Google."
We will make mistakes.
Ahoy!
Reference work as plastic surgery.
Someone in the audience is knitting.
Do we need all the bells and whistles? "IM works super."
Don't hide the ref links on the library page.
The guy next to me spills his drink on the carpet.
A Q/A session. (Ahoy!)
Protocols.
Staffing problems and bureaucracy.
"Accuracy is so 1996."
"Willingness to return" as an important ref evaluation stat.
The panel laughs at protocol 4.2: "...competent and complete."
Applause from a nearby room.
Cell phone.
Roving techniques. Should ref librarians do it, or can the hired help?
Make the rovers approachable.
Quibbling with protocol 1.7. "Not that I'm quibbling ..."
Omnious rumbles from the ceiling.
Another Q/A.
Rovers can seem creepy.
More door slamming.
Sneezing.
No one seems to like cobrowsing too much. Well, a couple people do.
"What a bunch of geeks we are."
"I always get the hardest questions when I rove."
Serious hating on librarians who won't get out of their chairs.
The goodness of following up.
A success story turns into a brag.
Approachability, approachability, approachability, and followups.
Model behavior assessment.
"Be nice, but not creepy."
Some practice with chat required.
A panelist says "sneakily," but quickly recants.
Training using role playing (which I personally hate).
We're running late.
The last Q/A.
I'm burned out. I don't understand what this guy is getting at.
Applause.
Now off to get some more schwag.

In the Afternoon

The terminal and Spanglish.
I can't understand a word he's saying, yet it's English.
Printer advice.
I'll take care of that book, ma'am.
Beah Richards films.
I can't stamp your parking ticket, sir.
Print server reset.
He lost a floppy.
Copier advice.
Children's Librarian X would be in the Children's section, ma'am.
Computer class signup.
Water exercise videos.
"The movie with Orson Welles, Edward G. Robinson and Loretta Young in it?"
Comcast won't let him log in to his account.
Never so few. Doesn't anyone read in the summer anymore?
I notarize a document and point out the copier.
Printer advice.
For some reason our Buffy collection stops at season 5.
Type your barcode in there, sir.
"If the 306s aren't there anymore, what are they?" (We've been shifting the collection around)
Law videos.
Yay, a hold for me came in!
You need a library card to use the Internet, ma'am.
CD's are over there now, sir.
This computer is already set for font size 12, ma'am. You're all set.
Black rose, by Nora Roberts.