In the Afternoon:

Bathroom's over there, ma'am.
The mis-education of the Negro, by Carter Godwin Woodson.
Ingles sin barreras.
2002 high school yearbook.
I explain the internet reservation system.
Bathroom's over there, ma'am.
"Did An incovenient truth come from a book?"
"I have a lot of questions. I'll start with: Where's the bathroom?"
The man returns. "I need books on divorce, music, and construction, and do you have a copy machine?"
A perfect union, by Catherine Allgor.
I show the man the music books again.
Sorry, ma'am. You can't use my phone. Try the receptionist.
Dictionary.
The Da Vinci code, in Spanish.
I explain the internet reservation system, and the patron seems to doze off.
Printer advice.
His mouse and keyboard are dead.
Ingles sin barreras.
Printer advice.
Printer advice.
Printer advice.
Martin Luther King and Malcolm X.
There follows an hour or so where I could not keep up with all the questions, partly because I was training the new guy at the same time. Stuff about Slovenia, plat maps, etc.
Printer advice.
The reservation slip printer jams up.
You can't use that kid's card on these computers, sir.
Talk to the circ clerks, kid.
Printer advice.
Computer reservation advice.
Incorporation history for a Florida company.
Computer reservation advice.
Printer advice.
Mountains beyond mountains, by Tracy Kidder.
"Is the New York Times a newspaper or magazine?"
Crusader, by Sara Douglass.
"The dating movie."
I fail to figure out how to reset the color copier.
Bus schedules.
I'm so glad that shift is over!
Librarian Y gets a patron who wants an "Uno Yonk" library card, which is good at any library in the country and only costs $10. When Librarian Y asks where she heard about it she is told "It was written in democracy."

"Brent Ellis?" Hmm, sorry.
(patron returns) "Eastern Ellis?"
At which point I figure it out.

Every small child who's come in tonight has spent at least part of their time crying loudly.

Late in the Afternoon:

I am now mysteriously subscribed to PC Magazine. Librarian Y and I try to figure out how.
He locked himself off of his computer.
"Excuse me?" Can I help you? "... No, forget it." (wanders vaguely off)
My jump drive saves a patron's document. I always feel smug when that happens.
The green pharmacy and The green pharmacy herbal handbook, by James A. Duke.
The river king, by Alice Hoffman.

In the Evening:
Shut up, kids.
I am told that two volumes of Ray have been stolen.
A zip code lookup.
Do we have the 3-D glasses for Spy kids?
Tamata and the alliance, by Bernard Moitessier.
Into the cold fire, by Lynne Ewing.
Lust, by Robin Wasserman.
I reset a printer.
I reset a computer reservation.
Librarian Y expounds on the quirks of our online catalog's editing module.
Printer advice.
"I'm doing a paper on drugs and stuff."
Charmed thirds, by Megan McCafferty.
Scary movie 4, or When a stranger calls.
"English skills. And math."
Printer advice.
Scratch paper.
Pencil.
Learning the guitar.
The lost boy, by David Pelzer.
Liar's game, by Eric Jerome Dickey.
He left a disc in a public computer.
DVDs for kids.

In the Morning:

Well, the books on race discrimition would be over there, and the books on sex discrimination would be over here-- "But I want a section with all of them. And a book by the five human rights by the Supreme Court. You think they wrote a book, a fun book like that, during recess?"

And how do you explain that a patron's files were too large to attach to an MSN mail message, when he doesn't speak a word of English?

I have a patron on the phone, trying to find an obscure book. I'm telling him about ISBN numbers or somesuch when suddenly he shouts:

"OH MY GOD!!!"

(click)

He hasn't called back.

In the Morning:

Librarian Y says "It's Wednesday, almost the weekend."
Today's paper.
The copier isn't taking coins.
He wants to know when his father died.
Computer guest pass.
He wants to donate bone marrow.
The life of Montezuma.
I help cut and paste a resume.
Essay examples.
Printer won't print.
Books by Sister Souljah.
History of a local flag.
No cell phones, ma'am.
HR Block messed up her forms. Who to call?
The Da Vinci code, by Dan Brown.
Natural history.
Printer advice.
An "innocent and injured spouse form."
Books on the paranormal.
"The computer won't let me log in." Unfortunately, he's talking about his Yahoo mail account.
Steve Carlton, and the day he struck out 19 batters.
(Pointing at a manga volume) "Where do you keep books like that?"
They'll sell you a floppy disk over there, sir.
Fruits basket v. 13, and Read or die v. 2.
I copy and fax a newspaper article.
American accent training..