In the Evening:

Once again he calls asking for a handful of movies, but doesn't want us to place holds on them.
It's six o'clock, sir.
The "How to reserve a computer" lecture.
DVDs are a dollar for three days, kid.
Nursing exam guides.
I proctor an exam.
Computer controls for heating and cooling systems.
Something's wrong with her Yahoo login, and it's apparently our fault.
Tonight's computer class is in the different location, and it's apparently my fault.
Publication 575.
She gets a debug? window on her web page.
"Do you have dis?" Huh? "Dis." Sorry? Oh, disks!
A movie about Queen Elizabeth, but which one? "They wearing heavy clothes!"
Programmable logic device controls.
You pay for faxes over there, sir.
I do half a dozen old movie ILLs.
Old stock prices, and a long story.
You could ask the receptionist if you could use her phone, kid.
Weight and measure conversions.
101 great answers to the toughest interview questions, by Ron Fry.
There's your problem, ma'am. Your username has an underscore in it.
I take pity and let a woman with fines log in to the computer. Then I find out how much she owes ...
Antique jewelry.
You were unable to save info on your CD because our machines don't do that, sir.

In the Morning:

Strong women stay young, by Miriam E. Nelson.
"Any Paula Abdul CDs?" Um, no. I'm kinda surprised by-- (click)
How to get on our computers.
Where did his ILL request go?
How to get on our computers.
That card's expired, ma'am.
State tax form.
DVDs on pregnancy.
GED books.
Another computer login.
I can't help you play your songs on the computers, sir.
Don't run!
Please turn you headset down, sir (different patron).
A discussion about the city's flag, or lack of one.
"They said I was in the paper."
Keep it down, guys.
She wants to make sure her print job is completely gone.
No cell phones!
Stop running!
I print out a tax form.
Looks like the security guy's about to kick some kids out.
I reserve a computer for a lady.
I proctor a test.

In the Afternoon for an Hour

They sent the wrong test!
How to print. Twice.
Loud talk at circ about the poisonous cat food.
How come the page he copied came out blank?
Some more proctoring fun.
Isaac Asimov books. He doesn't believe I'm familiar with the author.
You can get your library card registered at our library, sir. Then it will work here.
He defaulted on his student loan. Who should he call?
Don't run! (She stops dead in her tracks and gives me a worried look)
My brain tunes out and I forget what I did for a number of patrons. Sorry. It's Friday.
Trans fats, by Judith Shaw.
Genshiken v.8, and some Bittorrent advice. Tsk.

Sigh, I was just looking up a drug interaction. I didn't really need to know all about her urinary tract infection and cyst on her leg.

In the Evening:

Scissors
10 bad choices that ruin Black women's lives, by Grace Cornish.
The scarlet and the black.
Notarization.
The printer ate his internet reservation slip.
Yes, we ILL VHS tapes, sir.
Tons of Young Lords Party books. "You got nothin' here." That's because they're mostly dissertations with only one copy in the US.
Medical technology books.
A couple of newspapers returned.
How to print in color.
Meeting? What meeting?
Mary Shelley.
Missing library card--Found!
Our free papers are over there, ma'am.
How many books can you check out? How many can you carry?
Bathroom's over there, sir.
Yes, I think The bellboy is a comedy.
How to make a computer reservation.
Click the "Printer Friendly" button, sir.
Five minutes to diagnose the printer before I realize it's out of paper.
Pinter advice.
Don't run!
Dream interpretation.
Bathroom's over there, kid.
Don't run!
Keep it down!
And don't run!
You can't log in because that's a kid's card, kid.
Printing in color instructions.
Books on healthy eating.
Ralph Ellison.
Scissors and stapler.
I pick a pencil up off the floor, place it on the circ counter, and announce that I have done my good deed for the day. The pencil promptly rolls off the counter back to the floor.
African music.
My super ex-girlfriend and Accepted.

Patron: You remember a couple months ago my mother had rheumatoid arthritis? And you found some books for me and you downloaded some things off the net, and they really really helped a lot.

Me: Well, glad to hear it!

Of course I have no idea who this man is.

In the Afternoon:

Today's paper.
Four copies of the state 1040 form, and confusion with the copy machine.
Computer class signup.
Yeah, we'll print in color. A buck a page.
They're too young. That's why they can't log on, sir.
Books by Michael Ledwidge
He hands me a filled-out scholarship form, and I wonder why.
More color printing, with two docs and messed-up page numbers he insists are okay.
Today's the 14th, ma'am. "Oh, yes! (chuckles)"
Yeah, our blue pens don't work too well, ma'am.
They'll look up your card number over there, sir.
Exercise books. "Sit-ups and stuff."
More printing advice. The patron is making the job far more difficult than it needs to be.
That newspaper should be in a rack over there, sir.
He calls up twice a week and asks for the exact three videos. He doesn't want us to place holds. He just asks if we have them and then hangs up.
She wants to reformat and edit her document in order to print fewer pages, and she expects me to hang around while she does so.
Credit repair.
Tax forms are over there, sir.
Alan Greenspan.
Historical fiction. Can you narrow it down? "Um, western civilization?" She narrows it down to Elizabeth I.
A small girl at circ: "All these books are gonna cover my head!"
The Sears Tower.
Computer reservation advice. And then some more.
A history of a local movie theater.
Where's my replacement?
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation.
Your computer's on, ma'am. It's on a screen saver.
Computer signup advice.
I'm getting a little tired of high school kids muttering either "I need a computer," or "My computer don't work."
Here comes another one ... And another ...
No replacement yet.
"My bloody life," by Reymundo Sanchez.
And another ...
"Gang books."
Ah, my replacement.