In the Evening:

Several computers go down in unrelated ways.
Computer class signup.
He's shocked and angry because we won't give him a library card.
Yoga books.
Dead Man Walking.
Basic Automotive Service & Maintenance, by Don Knowles.
Polish language instruction books.
Can I help you? (click)
How to put money on her library card.
They'll break a five for you over there, sir.
Mr. Bean.
Concertos on DVD
Pygmalion, by Shaw.
Today's paper.
"Something's wrong with my computer. It looks fake."
Pygmalion, by Shaw. It's a class assignment. I give away our last copy. The library closest to us is also out.
How to attach a file to an email.
Greek mythology and culture.
How to use the microfilm machine.
Don't run!
More file attaching lectures.
Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets.
The sisterhood of the traveling pants.
Books by Kathy Reichs.
I reset yet another public computer.

I'm not going do the afternoon, but I'd like to add that my first encounter with Windows Vista isn't pleasant for me or the patron. She updated it last night and now it's saying "Wireless adaptor? What wireless adaptor?"

In the Morning:

We start with a fire alarm, but it turns out to be nothing.
There's no key for the bathroom needed, sir.
They'll look up your barcode over there, ma'am. ... Well you got to have some kind of ID for them to do that.
Who's cell is that?
Lift up the top to make copies, ma'am.
We don't have a computer class schedule yet, sorry.
Another cell phone.
Another patron with no ID who wants to use the computer.
Turns out the rambling patron just wants the spelling of "amazon."
Bathroom's over there, and you get a library card over there.
Today's paper.
Today's paper.
"Do you have the capacity to remove vocals from soundtracks here?"
We're still having problems with the public computers asking patrons for reservation numbers they do not have. It's a pain in the butt because it means getting up every time and resetting them.
Sorry, sir, no study rooms.
I can tell he wants to tell me all about Xenophon.
ASVAB books.
We don't have a computer class schedule yet, sorry.
New York travel books.
You get two computer sessions a day, sir.
BOCA 1996.
We will send faxes, sir, but we will not receive them for patrons.
That library card is good here, ma'am. Just register it with circulation.
We don't have a computer class schedule yet, sorry.
When a local tavern started up.
The one, by Kathy Freston.
Sorry, we don't offer classes in Quickbooks.
A large pile of local history booklets.
A lost wallet full of fifties.
Their son's going to court today and they need newspaper articles about the case.
A man lost among the CDs.
The print jobs come out over here, sir.
The secret, by Rhonda Byrne.
Some people need to ask permission to do anything.
Fax.
A big book with all the CDs listed in it? Not here.
Phone books.
A psychology textbook by someone named Gray.
Beluga whales.
The curious incident of the dog in the night-time, by Mark Haddon.
We don't have a computer class schedule yet, sorry.
The mists of Avalon, by Marian Zimmer Bradley.
Books by Harold Robbins. Wait, she actually wants tapes ... No, books after all.
We don't have a computer class schedule yet, sorry.
Scrap paper's right over there, sir.
Someone made a reservation before you did. No one's ripping you off.
I thought he wanted dissertations on desigh, but he wanted books on writing diesertations.
And to finish, another fire alarm!

In the Afternoon:

Four more hours and I get a two-day weekend!
The man announces that he's made 400 copies in 6 days, thanks us, and leaves.
No printer connection. Reboot.
Bravo.
"Can I just leave these here while I use the bathroom?"
It still won't print. We switch machines.
The circ clerks are discussing the Potter book very quietly because they know I haven't finished it yet.
Printer advice.
I don't know why they transferred you to me, sir. I'll transfer you again.
"Way of words?" "Way with words?" he doesn't know.
Fax.
I think I know this person ... or two or three like her ...
Trying to budget part of our collection I start with the assumption that I have twice the money. My bewildered boss calls me.
She describes her computer illiteracy as "old school."
We don't have an index to the obituaries that year, sir.
The online form hates the patron who's trying to fill it out, but it likes me fine.
Printer advice for the Old School girl (Press print).
Ashford & Simpson.
Lift the top up to copy, sir.
DVDs are over there, ma'am.
More copier advice.
More printer advice.
Soup kitchens.
Ravinia tickets.
Fax.
We don't have math tutors, but we have math books. Yes, you need a library card. Yes, you need some ID to get one.
The house on mango street, by Sandra Cisneros.
Printer advice.
He gives me a detailed update on a homeless guy I helped out, and I don't remember any of it.
Today's paper.
Harry Potter books in Spanish.
Dave Mason CDs.
The date of a local air show.

Five feet away a patron is telling a circ clerk how the Harry Potter book ends. Thanks, buddy.

Late Afternoon:

That's not a web address, ma'am, that's an email address. See the little @?
The Big book in Spanish. And where are the meetings?
CDL books.
Shouting in the lobby.
The Peloponnesian war, by Thucydides.
Maybe I should Twitter this.
Intermediate algebra.
"Where are the black author books?"