In the Afternoon:

Ten minutes resetting all the public computers.
And now the phone’s screwed up.
Fixed!
Sorry, kid. No headphones.
Copier advice.
Card charger advice.
Quiet, please.
“Rainbow fish” books for his little sister.
T is for trespass, by Sue Grafton.
Quiet!
I check a computer reservation.
Lampwork glass beads.
A kid tells someone to shut up and is told to shut up.
The fish kids are back for more fish books, also DNA and drawing …
Stop hitting him, and shut up!
Shut up! (Different patron)
The bathroom’s open, sir.
Fax.
The stairs are by the front door, kid.
Paper and pancil.
Computer signup advice.
A long patron story about pages missing in the newspaper.
I chase some kids out of the stacks, though they would deny they were chased out.
Spanish books.
Pen.
There’s a clock behind you, kid.
Huckleberry Finn on CD.
A little girl returns the golf pencil she borrowed.
Seeing Emily, by Joyce Lee Wong.
Ten minutes to go. I call for pizza.
We're closing, sir. ... Don't get pissed.

In the Afternoon:

It's freezing in here ... again.
Pencil
Computer login help.
The law library is next door, ma'am.
I show an elderly gentleman how to purchase a cd online. (He figures it out! Whoo-hoo!)
Yes, ma'am, our printers are working.
"My computer's not working."
Missing mouse ball.
Clapton, the autobiography.
This isn't the machine you reserved, sir. That's why it won't let you on.
You'll have to buy a print card, sir.
Key to the study room.
Someone to see the library director.
Today's paper.
Manga blog recommendations.
Emmett Till.
How does he get satisfaction from his employer, White Castle?
Don't run!
Notarization. She pulls out about eight different IDs and fills out two forms all with a big baby on her left arm.
Books by Zane..
Computer login advice.
Today's papers.
Our pencils aren't sharp enough for him.
Scary movie 2 and Shrek 3.
Don't run!

Willa Catheter??

In the Afternoon

Don't run! And turn off your cell!
You can run, but you can't hide, by Duane "Dog" Chapman with Laura Morton.
Somebody left their hat.
PDR
Yes ma'am, a card with from that library is good here.
She asks for books on herbal treatments for asthma by saying "I need books on health issues."
He seems a little surprised that Rush Hour 3 and Spiderman 3 both have waiting lists. "Well, what movies DO you have?"
Do we have online tests?
Sorry, sir, you can't hand out church flyers here.
Bathroom.
The computer classes were booked up weeks ago, ma'am (she is not listening).
Suddenly there are three of us on desk.
"They guy with long hair ... Is he here?"
Copier advice.
He wants a couple dozen books and videos by David Icke, and to renew a dozen more he had already ILL'ed. Our new Librarian Q tells me that our would leaders are dinosaurs.
Circuit Breaker forms.
"Say hi to the nice librarians." "No!"
Office 07 CD-ROM guides.
How to make a computer reservation.
Half of a yellow sun and Purple Hibiscus, by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.
She doesn't want the computer class she's signing up for, she doesn't even know what it's for, but it's the only one open.
Valiant, by Holly Black.

Kid: "Where does the library get its money?"
Me: "We steal it."
Mother: "Don't listen to him."
Me: "It's true! We rob banks."
Mother: "Don't listen to him."

In the Morning:

Back from vacation, sigh.
I give my computer signup lecture.
Resume templates.
Printer advice.
Kids are camping out at the express Internet workstations.
Don't worry, ma'am. The card will pop out again if you put it in the wrong way.
More resume advice.
More printer advice.
She can't log in. Probably a fine on her card.
Local employment office. Finally! Forty minutes in, I get a non-computer related question.
How to pull up your own library record.
Where are the CDs he placed on hold earlier that morning.
Monster.com crashes a machine ... and he's mad because he doesn't get his time back.
Your card might have expired, ma'am.
Mapquest directions.
The glass pops off of the microfilm reader.
Guest pass for the Internet.
Fax.
Those machines don't print, sir.
Computer class signup.
Yes, sir, any machine that's open. Yes, that one's fine, sir.

In the Afternoon

Pen.
The choice, by Nicholas Sparks.
Yet another question about our computer workshops, which were all booked a week ago ...
Keep it down, guys.
I give my "How to load the microfilm reader" lecture.
Aztec language.
Today's paper.
Do we have what?? A dot-matrix printer??
The debit card you bought only has sixy cents to start with, ma'am.
Norbit.
Question after question about Michael Bloomberg for an old man.
List of local food pantries.
What version of Word do we use?
More computer class signups.
SHUT UP! (Several times)
Night, by Elie Wiesel.
A whole bunch of people come up to me for things the circ desk does.