In the Morning:

Bankruptcy, chapter 7, not 13.
He lost his portfolio. Then he found it.
A patron wishes to know if he returned a book.
Microfilm advice.
Pencil and paper.
The other librarian on duty (Call her "Librarian Y") got a patron who wanted the Internet but had never used it before. Librarian Y suggested that she do the searching. He agreed. What would you like? "Sex," he replied. What about sex? "Porn." Never before had a patron asked us to download porn before! When we told him no, he asked for "revolutionary tracts," which in this case meant books on munitions and changing identity.
Today's paper.
The new illustrated science and invention encyclopedia, ed. Mark K. Datford.
He can't save the document he had slaved over because the A: drive is broken.
Printing advice.
Nearby papers.
Another A: drive problem.
Printer crash.

In the Afternoon:

"I'm looking for a book by Dante ... 'The comedy?'"
Internet policy over the phone.
"Can I make copies of pictures in books?"
Librarian W and I share police run-in anecdotes.
Books on seamanship. Neither of us could remember the word, so I looked for "boat handling."
Pen.
A cop wants Stephen King books.
Landscaping books in Spanish.
Stapler.
Great Expectations, by Charles Dickens. This was a phone call from another library. They were ashamed to admit they didn't own a copy!
Is there a Loch Ness Monster? by Gerald S. Snyder.
"I need the Yahoo."
Fax machine.
Hulk: the ultimate guide.
A man recovers his lost floppy disc.

Internet signups: 21

Yesterday Afternoon:

Newspaper.
Books on glass painting.
River Run cookbook, by Jimmy & Maya Kennedy.
He asks whether we've purchased a book for him yet, and then he asks for our phone number. He's on the phone!
She calls to ask what books we have held for her.
"I need the textbook definition of 'decision making.'"
Printer advice.
Printer advice.
A recent book on dams.
Do we have college application forms?

Yesterday Evening:

Geometry textbook.
Printer advice.
No, sir, holds are held at the front desk.
Pencil.
Mark Lowry tapes.
Kids section is downstairs, ma'am.
Valueline.
Stress management.
Book discussion signup.
"Where did those two days go?" I couldn't help her with that one.
"Where's the card catalog." That one I could handle.
Copier.
Printer advice.
Printer advice.
Old newspapers.
Click the button on the side of the handle to open the drawer, ma'am.
Books on buying a house.
The book wasn't on the shelves because it's in our local history collection.
I give a quick online catalog usage lecture over the phone.

Internet Signups: 18

This Morning:

Constellations.
Math books.
Event signup.
Event signup.
Printer advice.
2001 tax forms.
Phone number to a local school.
I print out a document for a sight-impaired patron.
Printer advice (over the phone).
Human Resource Management, by John. M. Ivancevich.
One of the most common phrases, and most aggravating, that I hear on the desk is "I'm computer illiterate." It's become a catchphrase.
A location on a map.
Printer advice.
Local school bus depot phone number.
"Books on southeast Africa. There's a country there." He meant Namibia.
An obscure local ordinance, so obscure that I couldn't find it.
Harry Potter and the order of the phoenix, by J. K. Rowling. The patron was aghast that she was so low on the waiting list. She put her hold on it last week.

Internet Signups: 44

In the Morning:

She shows me a typewritten letter. "You mean if I want to change the address on this letter I have to type it on the computer all over again?"
I print out a page for a sight-impaired patron.
Smart and sassy: the strenths of inner city black girls, by Joyce West Stevens.
The red tent, by Anita Diamant.
Program signup.
Yesterday's paper.
CDL study guide.
Origin of the 21 gun salute.
Local noise ordinances.
"What is the Warsaw Convention?"
I kick a convention of onlooking kids off the internet terminals.
The killer angels, by Michael Shaara.
A book on enzymes. The cover, he said, is green.
Travel to South Dakotga and Mt. Rushmore.
Printer advice.
"A book called 'Alternative medicine.' It's thick."
Enzymes and enzyme theory, by Anthony J. Cichoke.
Food enzymes, by Humbert Santillo.
Abe Lincoln historical landmark.
She last knew he was living in town in 1970, and she's trying to track him down.

In the Afternoon:

Writing job descriptions.
Yu-Gi-Oh: v.5; Evil spirit of the ring.
The gift of fear, by Gavin DeBecker.
Today's paper.
Who do we catalog a hyphenated last name?
Copier advice.
Today's paper.
Psychology encyclopedias.
"Fax machine?"
A small discussion among us concerning the Supreme Court Internet filtering ruling.
Phone book.
Copier advice.
Today's paper.
English tapes for Spanish speakers.
Several historical birthdays.

Internet Signups: 36

In the Morning:

"Does this detective agency still exist?" They do.
"Where are we on this map?" We weren't.
"Space sciences and engineering."
"Where's the computer class?"
A patron taking an equivalency exam needs to brush up on her english, math, etc.
2002 tax form instructions.
"Microwaves of old papers."
Local senator (for the citizanship test).
State Capital?
More tax help (but not advice).
Consumer reports for washers, dryers.
Printer advice.
Printer crash.
Printer advice.
TPS form.
Today's paper.
"You have computer for Spanish?"
More printer advice.
"Where is (another librarian)?"
Consumer reports for cameras, hot water heaters, and washers.
Computer class schedule.
Patron discusses a book problem we had last week, which I no longer remember.

In the Afternoon:

Computer crash (mine).
Salesman. I hate salesmen.
"Institutional law." He meant prison law.
Mavis Beacon teaches typing.
Pencil sharpener.
Another librarian threatens to strangle me.
Phases of the moon for August.
State senators (for the citizenship exam).
Frida Kahlo artwork.
Lucky, by Alice Sebold.

Internet Signups: 36

In the Afternoon:

Today's newspaper.
Yesterday's newspaper.
Today's newspaper.
"The numbers on the books, they tell you where they go ..." A patron gives his wife an informal tour of the library.
Classifieds.
Smart couples finish rich, by David Bach.
The crowded sky, by Hank Searls.
Pen.
Running time for a couple of audiobooks.
Yesterday's newspaper.
"How do I get more memory for my computer from the CD?"
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, by J. K. Rowling.
Local travel information.
A man supposedly in a library technician workshop ("So I can become a li-barian"), and who seems to be on drugs, shows up.
CAD books.
GED books.
Codependent no more, by Melony Beattie.
Yesterday's paper.
"Chapter 38 books." He meant the state statutes, though there is no chapter 38 there ...
Friday's paper.
City directories.
Books on Charlie Parker.
Who gets grandma's yellow pie plate?
Books by Nancy Grace.
"Who wrote East of Eden?"
Books by and about Carl Sandburg.
Volunteer slavery, by Jill Nelson
Printer advice.
Printer crisis.
The last emperor, by Arnold C. Brackman

Internet signups: 13

In the Morning:

Lost ID.
Old newspaper microfilm.
"Are you open Sundays?"
"I need the Internet. I don't know how to work it." Oh, god.
Printer advice.
Divorce books.
Printer advice.
Valueline.
White and yellow pages.
Yesterday's paper.
Bathroom.
"Paperbacks?"
Home organization businesses in the area.
Art of war, by Sunzi
NADA used car price guide.
The bark canoes and skin boats of North America, by Edwin Tappan Adney and Howard I. Chapelle.
The winds of war, by Herman Wouk.
Fire insurance maps.
Our address.
What makes juries listen now, by Sonya Hamlin.

In the Afternoon:

The GED is now harder. Do we have the new exam books?
A woman was herding her child, if that makes any sense.
My bloody life: the making of a latin king, by Reymundo Sanchez.
Books on gang culture.
"Did you get the fax I sent?" No.
Who stole our box of tissue?
Microfilm advice.
"A computer is like a car with a lot of electrical gadgets. When they work, it's great, but when they don't, it's a pain in the ass. I don't have a computer, and I don't have anything electrical in my car except the lights. I had mechanical windows and the rain started and the water got in and I had to drive all the way with the window open." This lecture delivered while we downloaded and printed out a tax form for the gentleman. Then we had to teach him how to use the copier.
Today's paper.
Loan officer exam books.
Medical career books. The woman can't settle on a career.
The towers of the sunset, by L. E. Modesitt Jr.
Crossroads of twilight, by Robert Jordan.
Half of the patrons coming to the desk are loonies. Well, it is Friday afternoon.
Roadrunner, by Trisha R. Thomas.
Painting books.
How to get to another city.

Internet Signups: 41