Yay!

Librarian C was born Saturday and was 6 pds, 15.4 oz. She'll start for us right away. However, Librarian Y is avoiding her duties by doing the maternity leave thing and won't be back until April, maybe.

Back from a three-week vacation. Ready for the challenges of a new year.

In the Morning:

The Attorney General and Solicitor General of the United States.
W-5 forms.
Someone who lived in this town in the 1920s by the name of "May." Apparently he had an expensive car.
How to reach our CEP tax assistance people. They made a mistake.
Printer advice.
Our CEP people have made another mistake.
Microfilm reader advice.
Computer class signup.
Sunday's paper.
Books by Beverly Lewis.
Her mouse won't work.
More microfilm reader advice.
1040A.
Press the green button, sir.
Domain names and how to assign them.
There's a pay phone in the lobby, sir.
PDR.
A total stranger calls me "Mister Peter."
Books on Windows XP and The Perricone Promise, by Nicholas Perricone.
Ma'am, I don't think this is a fax number. The other end just said "Hello."
Resume books.
State tax forms.
Computer crash.
I don't know the form you need, sorry, ma'am.
More tax forms.
Computer crash.
"Can I put my baby on my tax form?"
You may sit at any open computer, ma'am.
Tax forms are over there, sir.
Fax.
You can add money to your card with that machine over there, sir.
Computer illiterate, and legally blind.
Computer workshop schedule (not for him).
Cookbooks.
She wonders where her ILL is?
Books by Mary Wesley.
The coldest winter ever, by Sister Souljah.
Librarian Y arrives. She is very very very very very very very very pregnant. A ticking time bomb.
Poetry about death through drugs, or something like that.
IL-1363.
I don't know how to fill out that form, sir.
Help with Grangers.
Computer workshop signup.
Valueline.
The patron admits it: "The copier is smarter than I am."
Yes, sir, you're on the list for the class.

In the Afternoon:

"Prayer in the public schools, the constitution, just point me to the spot."
Stapler.
She can't reach ILL and it's the library's fault. Click.
Pen.
Change for a five.
L-1363.
I reset the print server. Twice.
"Someone in the bathroom and won't open the door."
Tom Stoppard.
Today's paper.
CEP tax help schedule.
DNA and ribosomes.
I reset two terminals.
Consumer reports.
Your GED books haven't arrived yet, ma'am.
Keep it down, girls.
A four year-old takes a book from the reference shelves because it's pink ......
While her sister dances into the stacks.
You may know how a certain patron (or pack of them) can make you dread coming to work, but while I was on vacation they were banned from the library for fighting. This has made my return bearable.
CEP tax help info.
Don't run, girls.
Missing JFK book.
Fax.
State tax forms.
The thumping behind me is a 2 year-old boy pushing a footstool, sneaking behind the counter.
Computer workshop info.CEP tax help info.

I've changed my mind about that "challenges of a new year" rubbish.

A woman waits twenty minutes for us to tell her the grammar books are three feet behind her.
Librarian B has a man who needs an email account but he's never used a computer and he has to type up a resume and send it to the the power plant because he knows the plant like the back of his hand. He's going on and on about his lack of computer skills. Poor Librarian B can only nod and smile.
And a twenty-minute series of apologies and thank-you's.
I get a patron who has three days to write an extensive paper on world cultures. It is Librarian B's turn to pity me.
How can her file be Word Perfect when she ONLY uses Microsoft Word?
Carrie, by Stephen King, and Animal Farm, by George Orwell. Interesting reading list ...

I'm about to leave. A patron asked me for books on deaf dogs and sign language. Otherwise an unremarkable day.

The only remarkable thing about this week was the level of bitchy people. Belligerent, dishonest computer users. Two patrons nearly got into a fight. A man's pocket was picked. "Who's in charge here?" was said a lot. It's as if everyone used up their christmas cheer last week. This is one week I hated working the reference desk.

(To show I'm not dead)

In the Afternoon:

Notarization.
No more than two to a machine, kids, and sitting at an empty machine next to it but not using it doesn't count.
Fax attempt #1.
Fax attempt #2.
Fax attempt #3.
Computer crash.
No cell phones, sir.
"There must be more than three volumes of The Elenium, right? After all, it's David Eddings."
Fax attempt #4.
Fax attempt #5.
Fax attempt #6.
Fax attempt #7.
Photography.
Another fax attempt #1.
Another fax attempt #2.
The first fax goes through!
The second fax goes through!
Learning Spanish.
Housekeeping, by Marilynn Robinson.
We're suddenly overstaffed at the desk. I volunteer to leave.

Later in the Afternoon:

A newspaper is returned.
Any Merck Manuals to check out?
I reset a computer session.
Quickbooks Pro.
It's been nine months since we switched to automatic signup for our internet terminals, and they still stop at our desk.
No cell phones, sir.
Copier advice.
Printer advice (If you put the card in the wrong way, it'll spit it out, so don't worry).
"Is Circ Clerk D here today?"
I give my "WPs are over there" speech, which now includes "Avoid the last row of computers like the plague."
... But he still can't log in himself.
It's ten till five, sir.
Ten minutes with a particularly dense regular where I throw her son off the machines, get kicked by her 4 year-old girl, and endure endless questions about saving to the A: drive.

Let's see,

My yearly evaluation session was going remarkably well until I tried to be helpful and install anti-spyware software on my boss's computer, and messed it up.

And a patron who's about to lose his document in a computer crash calls it "discrimination. "

And a mother who wants a book explaining Lord of the Rings for her daughter. "It's full of symbolism," she insists.

Otherwise it's a pretty good Friday.