In the Afternoon

The terminal and Spanglish.
I can't understand a word he's saying, yet it's English.
Printer advice.
I'll take care of that book, ma'am.
Beah Richards films.
I can't stamp your parking ticket, sir.
Print server reset.
He lost a floppy.
Copier advice.
Children's Librarian X would be in the Children's section, ma'am.
Computer class signup.
Water exercise videos.
"The movie with Orson Welles, Edward G. Robinson and Loretta Young in it?"
Comcast won't let him log in to his account.
Never so few. Doesn't anyone read in the summer anymore?
I notarize a document and point out the copier.
Printer advice.
For some reason our Buffy collection stops at season 5.
Type your barcode in there, sir.
"If the 306s aren't there anymore, what are they?" (We've been shifting the collection around)
Law videos.
Yay, a hold for me came in!
You need a library card to use the Internet, ma'am.
CD's are over there now, sir.
This computer is already set for font size 12, ma'am. You're all set.
Black rose, by Nora Roberts.

In the Evening:

He finds a collection of X-Men comics at a table. "An angel must have delivered it to me!"
"How to I print?" x3
Books by an author whose name I can't remember now.
I reset a computer and check the ID of a suspicious guy.
His debit card won't work. Neither will Librarian K's. I show them my sneaky trick to fix them.
Try that row of machines over there, sir.
Sorry, we don't give away back issues of the papers.
There's an empty internet terminal there, ma'am.
"I want books in the meat-eater series ... I mean Mediator series!" (She collapses in giggles)
Good-bye, my lady, by James H. Street.
Les Miserables and Breakdown.
Fax
Books on chicken pox.
Press this button for letter size, sir.
You need to see if there's an open computer yourself, ma'am.
Novels about cosmetology. I am thanked repeatedly for past services, which I can't remember.
Yesterday's paper.
I rescue a debit card from a machine.
Keep it down, kids.
Citizen girl, by Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus.
Quiet down, girls.
They'll look up your number at the front desk, ma'am.
Driving laws.
Elephants and rhinos.
Printer advice.
A dream dictionary.
Copier advice.
More copier advice (same guy).
Librarian K goes to help the guy a third time.
Sorry sir, today's paper never showed up.
Printer advice.
The kid tells us that the kids section has no books on the United States government.
I notarize an immigration form.

While on virtual reference the other day:

(I'm helping the patron find contact information for a certain author)

Patron: Do you think it'll be on his website?
Me: I don't think he has one.
Patron: Really? That's really weird!

In the Morning:

Breathing Underwater, by Alex Flinn.
Computer class signup.
I would find the webpage much sooner, ma'am, if you remembered the name of it.
No cell phones.
2000 Toyota Sienna repair manual.
The ILL girl isn't there, sir.
Can we take his picture and post it to Yahoo Personals?
He calls to tell us he'll be here today, whoever he is.
Computer class cancellation.
Type your library card there, ma'am.
Collecting china.
A deficit of decency, by Zell Miller.
Computer class signup.
Another computer class signup.
Sorry, ma'am, we don't have computer rooms.
United Nations peacekeepng.
"Is this computer on?"
"Do you have the Illinois Bar Association?"
Printer reset.
Black girl lost, by Donald Goines.
Printer reset.
I kick a woman off the computer. "Trash must be taken out," she mutters.
Two faxes.
Type your library card ...
Sorry, no scanner.
Oh gawd it's a half-day of school today ...
Trial lawyers. I ask him to get more specific and get a complete rundown on the court case.
How to zoom the copier.
Yearbooks '70-'75.
Royally jacked, by Niki Burnham, Beauty sleep and How not to spend your senior year, by Cameron Dokey.
Local paper article.
I give my microfilm loading lecture.
He doesn't like being on hold and hangs up.
Bus schedules.
They'll make change at the front desk, kid.
Square in the face, by April Henry.

In the Morning:

"Prayers that avail much," but not by Germaine Copeland. And today's paper.
Type your barcode there to use our Internet terminals, sir.
VHS tapes are downstairs, ma'am.
Books and advice on hanging pictures. Our custodian takes an interest.
Newspapers going back a week.
Copier advice.
Their ILL lady wants to talk to our ILL lady, so of course it's transferred to me.
Waving his library card in the air, mutters: "You can use this to scare goolies."
IE hates a website.
Has an examination for her arrived, which leads to countless questions about our location and hours.
Schedules D-1 and E.
Ancient Rome, by Christopher S. Mackay. He proudly tells us we've never owned a single books he's asked for.
"Take me out to the ballgame" on a cellphone.
I give three homeless guys my "You're too loud" evil stare, which they are familiar with.
Printer advice.
"I need someone who speaks Spanish; my English is very bad," he says perfectly.
Time for the evil stare again.
Nursing exam books.
Printer hassles.
Can our cd-roms play itty bitty cds?
Loud babies babbling and shouting in stereo. Is it lunchtime yet?
Type your barcode ...
Abortion books.
Printer advice.

In contrast to the last post, recently I showed a ten year-old boy the murder books. He spots In cold blood. "Kansas! BTK" No, I say, it's not related to BTK. He thinks about it while his mother stands behind him, beaming at her lovely son.