Yesterday:

"Do you have a book called Night, by Ellie Weasley?"

In the Morning:
A musician asks for the spelling of "maiden" and "voyage."

In the Afternoon:
Printer advice.
We lose a hold on a Nora Roberts book, and the patron can't remember the title.
Undead and unemployed, by MaryJanice Davidson.
They'll stamp your parking ticket over there, ma'am.
Videos about Mount Rushmore.
Where's our ILL lady?
Someone shut that baby up, please.
"I was just listening to my cellphone. I wasn't talking to it."
Stuttering.
Three young women at two computers keep hugging.
You can buy a printing card over there, sir.
"Which of the DVDs are free?"
Fax.
They're still hugging.
No cell phones, ma'am (actually, all I had to do was look at her and she got all contrite).
Back issues of newspapers are over there, ma'am.
No cell phones, sir.
Phone book.
She's two cents short of a photocopy.
She sneaks into the stacks to use her cell phone.
Puerto Rico travel.
Book sale is downstairs, ma'am.
Library card photos over there, ma'am.
"Instruction manuals on how to throw a football."
Natural cures, by Kevin Trudeau.
Bathroom.
By his loud voice we can all tell he thinks we're a ripoff.
A lot of printer advice.
National treasure.
Someone wants a movie called "Lake Palisades"
"You got a movie called Willie the fish?"
Printer advice.
You pay for a print card over ... oh, never mind. It printed for free.
More printer advice.
I can't find a DVD to save my life today.
Bathrooms?
Skins and Lakota woman.
Both our microfilm readers are broken.
It's 5:30. We close at six. No way the book she wants will come down from processing before she leaves on vacation tomorrow morning.
It's too late, sir. The internet terminals won't let you log on.
A whole lot of books, the only one we owned being The giver, by Lois Lowry.
Have a happy and not-too-hot weekend.

In the Morning:

"Where's your history section? I just read a book on the history of supermarkets. Do you have any other history books?"
Windows 2000 books.
Resume books. "What's a resume?"
How to get on our computer.
Printer advice.
Reboot. "Stupid computer," she says after not saving.
Guest pass for a computer.
A tour. Loud children and lots of Shhhing.
Endless questions about local collections, and parking.
Printer advice. One computer is printing for free!
You can check out DVDs over there, ma'am.
Copier advice.
More printer advice.
Fax.
Cell phones outside, sir. (New rule)
A replacement comes and I go off to weed the 000's. Oh, joy.

In the afternoon a bookshelf that collapsed on Friday collapses again.

At the ALA Convention
McCormick Center, Room N228, 1:30-3:30 PM

Introductions. I've forgotten the names of the panelists already.
No difference between online reference and other reference ...
... except for the tools.
We look at some ref protocols.
Don't use too many scripts. Personalize.
Make the email ref form good.
Get the patron involved in the answering process.
Approachability.
Doors slamming. This session is not for everyone.
Everyone laughs at something I think is "wonder.com." "Google answers minus Google."
We will make mistakes.
Ahoy!
Reference work as plastic surgery.
Someone in the audience is knitting.
Do we need all the bells and whistles? "IM works super."
Don't hide the ref links on the library page.
The guy next to me spills his drink on the carpet.
A Q/A session. (Ahoy!)
Protocols.
Staffing problems and bureaucracy.
"Accuracy is so 1996."
"Willingness to return" as an important ref evaluation stat.
The panel laughs at protocol 4.2: "...competent and complete."
Applause from a nearby room.
Cell phone.
Roving techniques. Should ref librarians do it, or can the hired help?
Make the rovers approachable.
Quibbling with protocol 1.7. "Not that I'm quibbling ..."
Omnious rumbles from the ceiling.
Another Q/A.
Rovers can seem creepy.
More door slamming.
Sneezing.
No one seems to like cobrowsing too much. Well, a couple people do.
"What a bunch of geeks we are."
"I always get the hardest questions when I rove."
Serious hating on librarians who won't get out of their chairs.
The goodness of following up.
A success story turns into a brag.
Approachability, approachability, approachability, and followups.
Model behavior assessment.
"Be nice, but not creepy."
Some practice with chat required.
A panelist says "sneakily," but quickly recants.
Training using role playing (which I personally hate).
We're running late.
The last Q/A.
I'm burned out. I don't understand what this guy is getting at.
Applause.
Now off to get some more schwag.

In the Afternoon

The terminal and Spanglish.
I can't understand a word he's saying, yet it's English.
Printer advice.
I'll take care of that book, ma'am.
Beah Richards films.
I can't stamp your parking ticket, sir.
Print server reset.
He lost a floppy.
Copier advice.
Children's Librarian X would be in the Children's section, ma'am.
Computer class signup.
Water exercise videos.
"The movie with Orson Welles, Edward G. Robinson and Loretta Young in it?"
Comcast won't let him log in to his account.
Never so few. Doesn't anyone read in the summer anymore?
I notarize a document and point out the copier.
Printer advice.
For some reason our Buffy collection stops at season 5.
Type your barcode in there, sir.
"If the 306s aren't there anymore, what are they?" (We've been shifting the collection around)
Law videos.
Yay, a hold for me came in!
You need a library card to use the Internet, ma'am.
CD's are over there now, sir.
This computer is already set for font size 12, ma'am. You're all set.
Black rose, by Nora Roberts.

In the Evening:

He finds a collection of X-Men comics at a table. "An angel must have delivered it to me!"
"How to I print?" x3
Books by an author whose name I can't remember now.
I reset a computer and check the ID of a suspicious guy.
His debit card won't work. Neither will Librarian K's. I show them my sneaky trick to fix them.
Try that row of machines over there, sir.
Sorry, we don't give away back issues of the papers.
There's an empty internet terminal there, ma'am.
"I want books in the meat-eater series ... I mean Mediator series!" (She collapses in giggles)
Good-bye, my lady, by James H. Street.
Les Miserables and Breakdown.
Fax
Books on chicken pox.
Press this button for letter size, sir.
You need to see if there's an open computer yourself, ma'am.
Novels about cosmetology. I am thanked repeatedly for past services, which I can't remember.
Yesterday's paper.
I rescue a debit card from a machine.
Keep it down, kids.
Citizen girl, by Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus.
Quiet down, girls.
They'll look up your number at the front desk, ma'am.
Driving laws.
Elephants and rhinos.
Printer advice.
A dream dictionary.
Copier advice.
More copier advice (same guy).
Librarian K goes to help the guy a third time.
Sorry sir, today's paper never showed up.
Printer advice.
The kid tells us that the kids section has no books on the United States government.
I notarize an immigration form.