In the Morning:

His computer won't print.
We only keep back issues for a year, ma'am. (She leaves in a huff)
He still can't print, and the airline website won't let him back on.
You can't log in and leave your kid on the machine, sir.
I hear all about the security guy's sinus condition.
No cell phones, sir.
Dead man walking, by Helen Prejean, on audiocassette.
Printer advice.
Today's paper.
You can't go in there, girls.
More printer advice.
In sheep's clothing, by Mary Monroe.
They'll renew cards over there, sir.
Sorry, I don't speak Spanish.
Driving directions.
Today's paper.
Too many phone questions about our hours and policies.
Fax.
That library card is good here, sir.
Videos on the Tuskegee Airmen and black cowboys.
Quiet please.
Juan de la Cruz.
I said quiet!
The family man. "It's not in with the T's"
English-Spanish dictionary.
How to run a bulldozer.
DVD policies, card renewal policies, and today's hours, on the phone.
Printer advice.
No cell phones, sir.
Someone moved the new DVDs.
Yay! The temperature has gone up to zero!
He has a lot of questions about downloading and printing. I'm hoping I'm at lunch when he returns.
Yes, ma'am, you have to wait in that long line to pay overdue fines as well.
Here's your video, sir, but you still have to wait in line to check it out.
Yes, sir, this afternoon's computer class is still on.
Harry Potter and the order of the phoenix.
You have to wait in that line for a library card, sir.
Voter registration.
Meeting room is downstairs, sir.
Bathroom's over there.
Computer class will be over there, ma'am.
Carleton Sheets videos.
Meeting room is downstairs, ma'am.
Don't run!
Meeting room is downstairs, sir.
You wait in that line to get a card, ma'am.
Dogville.

In the Afternoon:

Men, and Mr. & Mrs. Smith.
A drink before the war, by Dennis Lehane.
Scrap paper is over there, sir.
Printer advice.
Ancient Egypt.
The health care crisis in this country.
Greek mythology and urban legends.
We lose a patron on a phone transfer.
Pregnancy.
Scratch paper.
1040 instructions.
The name and number of an Indian restaurant that just opened.
A political quote, but she doesn't know who said it or the exact phrasing.
You can log in twice a day, sir. Yes, sir, twice. That's twice.
She wanted Dogville in VHS ...
Copier advice.
Transformers: Fusion, by David Cian.
Don't run! "I told you." says her brother.
How to create a flyer.
Don't run, or skip!
The internet terminals are self-service, sir.
Reboot.
A color wheel.
Voter registration.
Ingles sin barreras.
Doom.
Wrestling books.
Baby names in Spanish.
That copier isn't broken, sir. It wants money.

In the Evening:

I give a patron extra time on a computer.
You have to feed the meters until nine, sir.
FDR
They'll look up your card number over there, sir.
Sorry sir, we don't sell GED books.
No cell phones, please.
They'll stamp your parking ticket over there, sir.
Library R is so bored she's begun to sing.
You don't need a key to the bathroom, ma'am.
Can I help you? (click)
How to put money on her card.
No key for the bathroom anymore, kid.
Garrett Morgan.
Don't run!
She wants to use a computer but doesn't have her card, and doesn't want to take 3-4 minutes to get one.
Jackie Robinson.
She gets her card (sighing heavily the whole time) to discover her disk is the wrong format.
A slow night. Not that I'm complaining.

After tonight's desk session I'm inclined to agree with this.

Doing virtual reference while staffing the ref desk on a busy school night will stress anyone out. Grr ...

Hrumph. Happy New Year.

In the Evening:

Love poetry and sex education.
A security guy and I break down the NFL playoff picture.
Carpal tunnel syndrome (different patron).
Internet signup advice.
Aaron Douglas, and deer, or maybe she'll chose coyotes instead.
Computer workshop signup.
Computer workshop signup.
I go on a pencil sharpening run.
A woman asks about getting a passport and then gives me a lecture on the procedure.
"I need information about the South Beach Diet. Are there any books aboutit?"
The receptionist can validate your parking stub, ma'am.
What volume of Ingles sin barreras do they need?
"I just got this card and already it's expired."
He returns the day's paper.
Baby names.
U.S. atlas "with all the statistics in it."
My first printer advice of the new year.
Another newspaper is returned.
Living on purpose, by Dan Millman.
Cichlid fishes.
"My poem was published by the National Library of Poetry, and I want to find the volume." She also wants poems by Nikki Giovanni, and 1984, by George Orwell.
She just lost her library card, and her parents are going to kill her!
Nice quiet night.

In the Afternoon:

The adult woman says "I just got a kitty and I need books on kitties. Not cats. Kitties."
That mother needs a lasso.
Computer workshop signup.
A book of old corns? ... Oh, coins!
If these walls could talk.
Kwanzaa and Hannukah videos.
It gets way too busy.
Lots of noise from a group of girls who wear the exact same shade of pink.

In the Afternoon:
Music careers.
National treasure and Librarian: quest for the spear.
Printer advice. Lots of printer advice.
Al Capone.
The adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D.
Elvis.
Knights of the zodiac, vols. 5-7.
Shut up!
Adult literacy materials.
What happened on November 18.
Can I help you. "No, sorry. I just burped."
5th grade books.
Sorry, sir, I don't think we have any Christmas jobs for 15-16 year-olds. And I don't know how to make business cards, either.
Get it in writing, by Brian McPherson.
Elvis in encyclopedias.
Pancho Villa.
A zipcode in Spokane.
Kids are throwing snowballs outside. Call the police.
Mandarin Chinese.
Ancient latin-american civilizations.
How to do an outline.
Cómo pelear con sus seres queridos, by Carlos Cuauhtemoc Sanchez, and My bloody life, by Reymundo Sanchez.
I fix a debit card using my sneaky trick of sticking it in every cardreader we have.
Printer advice.
Sorry, ma'am. This disk is empty.
Once a king, always a king, by Reymundo Sanchez.
What a week this has been ...

In the Afternoon:

A patron gives a circ clerk a lecture on the Dewey Decimal System..
The patron continues: "You got a basic idea what Johnson & Johnson do, don't you? Bandaids."
Whiteout, a fax and Christmas programs.
He comes back to check on a fax we sent this morning.
Printer advice.
Al Capone does my shirts, by Gennifer Choldenko.
Don't run!
The coldest winter ever, by Sister Souljah.
No cell phones, please.
Langston Hughes.
Directions in Chicago.
Every other day I have to tell that table to shut up.
Don't run!
Fax.
More directions.
Dreams.
All those computers have the Internet, sir.
Fax.
Librarian T discuss Jonathan Carroll books.
It's 5:00. Time for the Friday rush.
That little girl is cute and knows it, which is dangerous.
Bathroom's over there, ma'am. No key.
The Perricone weight-loss diet, by Nicholas Perricone.
Free newspapers are over there, sir.
Another loud girl settles down before I can go over and kick her (No, I wouldn't do such a thing).
I reset a printer.
I can't figure out what they wanted. Something about neepers.
The women's room toilets are "messed up."