"Do you have 'The Mango of the House?'"

You mean The House on Mango Street?

"Er, yes."

Happy Monday

Harold Robbins and Sidney Sheldon on CD.
Ontario's a province, sir, not a city.
Where can you receive a fax? Good question ...
I put a guest patron on a computer.
Today's paper.
No, we didn't get the weekend paper, either.
Another guest on the computer. I tell her to save her work often, but I know she won't.
Printer advice for two patrons which involves a lot of blank stares.
Islam.
Yes, sir, that card from a nearby library will work here.
Not Islam. ... The Nation of Islam.
Actually, he wants Elijah Muhammad.
Copy machine's right over there, ma'am.
Tilman Riemenschneider.
You need to wait in line there for a library card (x2).
Shut that baby up, lady.
Guest on the computer.
Computer class signup.
1998 Grand Marquis repair manual, and one for a 2002 Malibu.
Yesterday's paper.
Negotiate This! by Herb Cohen.
Notarization.

Which Patron Would You Rather Help?

Mother: I need books on psychology.
Son: Cartoons!
Me: Can you narrow it down a little?
Mother: ... Beginning ...
Son: I want cartoons!
Mother: ... Adults, children, you know ...
Son: Cartoons! Where are the cartoons?!

In the Evening:

Several computers go down in unrelated ways.
Computer class signup.
He's shocked and angry because we won't give him a library card.
Yoga books.
Dead Man Walking.
Basic Automotive Service & Maintenance, by Don Knowles.
Polish language instruction books.
Can I help you? (click)
How to put money on her library card.
They'll break a five for you over there, sir.
Mr. Bean.
Concertos on DVD
Pygmalion, by Shaw.
Today's paper.
"Something's wrong with my computer. It looks fake."
Pygmalion, by Shaw. It's a class assignment. I give away our last copy. The library closest to us is also out.
How to attach a file to an email.
Greek mythology and culture.
How to use the microfilm machine.
Don't run!
More file attaching lectures.
Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets.
The sisterhood of the traveling pants.
Books by Kathy Reichs.
I reset yet another public computer.

I'm not going do the afternoon, but I'd like to add that my first encounter with Windows Vista isn't pleasant for me or the patron. She updated it last night and now it's saying "Wireless adaptor? What wireless adaptor?"

In the Morning:

We start with a fire alarm, but it turns out to be nothing.
There's no key for the bathroom needed, sir.
They'll look up your barcode over there, ma'am. ... Well you got to have some kind of ID for them to do that.
Who's cell is that?
Lift up the top to make copies, ma'am.
We don't have a computer class schedule yet, sorry.
Another cell phone.
Another patron with no ID who wants to use the computer.
Turns out the rambling patron just wants the spelling of "amazon."
Bathroom's over there, and you get a library card over there.
Today's paper.
Today's paper.
"Do you have the capacity to remove vocals from soundtracks here?"
We're still having problems with the public computers asking patrons for reservation numbers they do not have. It's a pain in the butt because it means getting up every time and resetting them.
Sorry, sir, no study rooms.
I can tell he wants to tell me all about Xenophon.
ASVAB books.
We don't have a computer class schedule yet, sorry.
New York travel books.
You get two computer sessions a day, sir.
BOCA 1996.
We will send faxes, sir, but we will not receive them for patrons.
That library card is good here, ma'am. Just register it with circulation.
We don't have a computer class schedule yet, sorry.
When a local tavern started up.
The one, by Kathy Freston.
Sorry, we don't offer classes in Quickbooks.
A large pile of local history booklets.
A lost wallet full of fifties.
Their son's going to court today and they need newspaper articles about the case.
A man lost among the CDs.
The print jobs come out over here, sir.
The secret, by Rhonda Byrne.
Some people need to ask permission to do anything.
Fax.
A big book with all the CDs listed in it? Not here.
Phone books.
A psychology textbook by someone named Gray.
Beluga whales.
The curious incident of the dog in the night-time, by Mark Haddon.
We don't have a computer class schedule yet, sorry.
The mists of Avalon, by Marian Zimmer Bradley.
Books by Harold Robbins. Wait, she actually wants tapes ... No, books after all.
We don't have a computer class schedule yet, sorry.
Scrap paper's right over there, sir.
Someone made a reservation before you did. No one's ripping you off.
I thought he wanted dissertations on desigh, but he wanted books on writing diesertations.
And to finish, another fire alarm!