In the Afternoon:

It's freezing in here ... again.
Pencil
Computer login help.
The law library is next door, ma'am.
I show an elderly gentleman how to purchase a cd online. (He figures it out! Whoo-hoo!)
Yes, ma'am, our printers are working.
"My computer's not working."
Missing mouse ball.
Clapton, the autobiography.
This isn't the machine you reserved, sir. That's why it won't let you on.
You'll have to buy a print card, sir.
Key to the study room.
Someone to see the library director.
Today's paper.
Manga blog recommendations.
Emmett Till.
How does he get satisfaction from his employer, White Castle?
Don't run!
Notarization. She pulls out about eight different IDs and fills out two forms all with a big baby on her left arm.
Books by Zane..
Computer login advice.
Today's papers.
Our pencils aren't sharp enough for him.
Scary movie 2 and Shrek 3.
Don't run!

Willa Catheter??

In the Afternoon

Don't run! And turn off your cell!
You can run, but you can't hide, by Duane "Dog" Chapman with Laura Morton.
Somebody left their hat.
PDR
Yes ma'am, a card with from that library is good here.
She asks for books on herbal treatments for asthma by saying "I need books on health issues."
He seems a little surprised that Rush Hour 3 and Spiderman 3 both have waiting lists. "Well, what movies DO you have?"
Do we have online tests?
Sorry, sir, you can't hand out church flyers here.
Bathroom.
The computer classes were booked up weeks ago, ma'am (she is not listening).
Suddenly there are three of us on desk.
"They guy with long hair ... Is he here?"
Copier advice.
He wants a couple dozen books and videos by David Icke, and to renew a dozen more he had already ILL'ed. Our new Librarian Q tells me that our would leaders are dinosaurs.
Circuit Breaker forms.
"Say hi to the nice librarians." "No!"
Office 07 CD-ROM guides.
How to make a computer reservation.
Half of a yellow sun and Purple Hibiscus, by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.
She doesn't want the computer class she's signing up for, she doesn't even know what it's for, but it's the only one open.
Valiant, by Holly Black.

Kid: "Where does the library get its money?"
Me: "We steal it."
Mother: "Don't listen to him."
Me: "It's true! We rob banks."
Mother: "Don't listen to him."

In the Morning:

Back from vacation, sigh.
I give my computer signup lecture.
Resume templates.
Printer advice.
Kids are camping out at the express Internet workstations.
Don't worry, ma'am. The card will pop out again if you put it in the wrong way.
More resume advice.
More printer advice.
She can't log in. Probably a fine on her card.
Local employment office. Finally! Forty minutes in, I get a non-computer related question.
How to pull up your own library record.
Where are the CDs he placed on hold earlier that morning.
Monster.com crashes a machine ... and he's mad because he doesn't get his time back.
Your card might have expired, ma'am.
Mapquest directions.
The glass pops off of the microfilm reader.
Guest pass for the Internet.
Fax.
Those machines don't print, sir.
Computer class signup.
Yes, sir, any machine that's open. Yes, that one's fine, sir.

In the Afternoon

Pen.
The choice, by Nicholas Sparks.
Yet another question about our computer workshops, which were all booked a week ago ...
Keep it down, guys.
I give my "How to load the microfilm reader" lecture.
Aztec language.
Today's paper.
Do we have what?? A dot-matrix printer??
The debit card you bought only has sixy cents to start with, ma'am.
Norbit.
Question after question about Michael Bloomberg for an old man.
List of local food pantries.
What version of Word do we use?
More computer class signups.
SHUT UP! (Several times)
Night, by Elie Wiesel.
A whole bunch of people come up to me for things the circ desk does.

In the Evening:

Don't run!
Bathrooms are over there (different patron).
Printer advice.
Walk! (She was skipping)
The kids section is downstairs, ma'am.
Yes, sir, we're the only public library in town.
I don't speak Spanish, but Librarian C here does.
Don't run!
There are more kids around every damn day.
The kids section is downstairs, sir.
It costs two dollars to replace a lost card, ma'am, or is it three?
The names of local Spanish language newspapers.
Don't run! Hello? Excuse me! Don't run!
Books on getting published.
A patron (adult) gets irate when I tell him he's too loud.
A patron insists the we log him into a terminal, when he can do it himself, making ME irate.
Don't run!
CDs by Sonora Dinamita.
Ancestry Plus? You have to come in to use it, ma'am.
Who moved my cheese? on CD.
I've given up on telling kids who are assigned to read a book (In this case To kill a mockingbird) that they shouldn't see the movie instead.
Car-lene Research.
(Sigh) The Crucible on DVD.
Don't run!
You have to wait in that long line to get a library card, ma'am.
"You have magazines about medical careers?" Turns out books would work too. I don't think she knows the difference.
"Are there computers open?"
They'll break a twenty over there, ma'am.
Librarian C is over there, ma'am.
H. R. Giger books.
Don't run!
I gesture for the guy to turn his cell phone off. He turns his back and crouches, as if that lessens the sound.
Quiet, guys.
I tell them to shut up again. At least it's fifteen minutes before closing ...