Saturday, May 24, 2003

In the Morning:

Aquarium Passes.
Our hours this weekend.
"Can I use my card at other libraries?"
Printed out some documents for a sight-impaired patron.
Face painting. She found a book she liked and went off to turn her son into a rabbit.
Printer advice.
Missing issue of Consumer Reports.
"Can I leave these flyers here?" No.
"Internet ... Job Skills ... Same thing isn't it?"
"1993 Geo Talon repair manual." I found him an Eagle Talon manual which he liked even better.
Do we have ERIC? Yes we do, but you have to come in.
The Talon patron returns.
You need to be at least high school age to use the adult computers.
More missing auto price guides.
I point out an online catalog station.
The ERIC guy comes in.
"Is (the other librarian) here?" Sorry, she just went on her break.
Definitions of "Photosensitivity" and "Psoriasiform."
I'm afraid that area is staff only, ma'am.
"Is (the other librarian) back yet?" Sorry, she just went to lunch.
New car prices and ratings.
Fallen Hearts, by V. C. Andrews.
Two scholarly articles for the ERIC guy, who was not used to our interface.
Bios of Muhammad Ali.
Copier problem.

In the Afternoon:

The printer is down and making a scary grinding noise.
A blabby lady wants to switch internet stations.
Ending the Cycle of Violence, by Peter G. Jaffe. And two other books which I couldn't find.
Amy Tan Cliff's Notes.
My House in Umbria, by William Trevor.
The Power of the Dog, by Thomas Savage.
Blabby lady needs to switch again. She's embarassed.
I give a patron some profound Internet searching advice which doesn't work.
Someone holds their card out at me.
Pencil, but now we're out. Not even those little golf pencils.
Music on cassette. Alas ...
"You have a book on hold for me."
Spanish/English dictionaries.
Personal finance.
Night, by Elie Wiesel.
Books on the Holocaust and WWII. Did you try the books in the children's section? "Yes." (I don't believe her) Did you try downstairs? "No."

Internet Signup: 10

Thursday, May 22, 2003

In the Morning:

"I left my pager here yesterday." Ouch! 300 bucks!
Local Gas company phone number.
Computer password doesn't work.
"I need a tax form. A simple one. My daughter had a summer job ..."
Yesterday's paper.
Part of the net is still down and it's confusing our patrons.
Referring to a computer: "How do you turn that off?"
NADA prices for a '96 Explorer. He stood at the desk and looked at the book for several minutes, muttering to himself.
Testament of Man, by Vardis Fisher.
NADA for trucks. Same guy. Now he's humming to himself.
Printer advice.
Computer class info.
Computer class info.
Phone number for the CEO of TCF Bank.
Type, sir.
Printer advice ... hold on, they figured it out themselves.
Big Bad Mama, starring Angie Dickinson.
Books on electronics ... When I showed him the books he changed it to Ohm's law.

In the Afternoon:

The patron's request for "Books of Poetry" became "Robert Frost" became "Love Poetry."
A patron claims we deliberately threw away his ID.
Frida Kahlo books.
Someone hands me a sheet of paper with two words scrawled on it, saying we could keep it.
Word Processor.
Books about Roald Dahl.
Directions to Adult Fiction.
Books on the Forties.
Meeting room reservation.
Phone book.
"I need the address to the nearest trademark office."
Computer class info.
Witchcraft books.
Mission: Impossible theme song. It turns out the patron I tried to help the other day wanted a recording, not the sheet music.
Revenge is Best Served Cold, by Tracie Howard and Deana Carter.
Addicted, and The Sex Chronicles, by Zane.
Books on the Sixties.
Buffy DVDs.

Internet signups: 43

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

In the Afternoon:

Printer advice.
A patron with fines was mistakenly referred to us.
Printer advice.
Looking for Antwone Fisher, which another patron told us was actually called Finding Fisher.
The other patron became entranced with public service and tried to give a patron printer advice.
Stapler. It was empty.
Printer advice.
Printer advice.
"Is this the circulation desk?"
Phone number to the unemployment office.
Today's paper.

In the Evening:

Fairies, by Brian Froud.
Her printer crashed at home. She needed to print out an email. I could not guarantee success.
Three books not on the shelf because they are in the children's section.
Frida, by Hayden Herrera.
A Child Called It, by David J. Pelzer.
Empire, by Niall Ferguson.
Books on abortion, but the kid's english was so poor I was unable to narrow down the question.
"Who invented television, and in what year?"
"My boyfriend's brother is in jail, and I want to find out why."
Location of a college.
Fish illustrations.
Info on this town. He rejected every thing I showed him.
Where a college was, and driving directions.
Putting a border in a Microsoft Word document.
"Books on Haiti. Yeah, Haiti. And Voodoo."
Part of the net is down, but not all.
Sorry, we can't do double-sided copies.
Another with a troublesome accent. All I got out of him was the word "energy."
Pregnancy and childbirth books.
Two different printer problems.
Sheet music to the "Mission: Impossible" theme.
"Do you have any Macs?" Sorry.
"How about Zip drives?" I disappoint the nice lady again.
2001 tax forms.
Books on substitute teaching.
Algebra books. She later changed the request to fractions.
Color pencils
"Books, good books, on the forties."
"Good books on the Holocaust. With lots of pictures."
Book sales.
Our print network defeats another patron.
Map and driving directions to San Diego.
Teaching Preschoolers what to do what you want without Nagging, Threatening, or Bribing, by Jerry Wyckoff.
We didn't have that, but we did have Discipline without Shouting or Spanking, by the same author.

Internet signups: 11 (there were many more)

Tuesday, May 20, 2003

In the Morning:

"Into the Woods" on video.
Whoops, sorry, ma'am, I didn't mean that password screen, I meant THIS password screen.
Two paper clips.
Restroom request.
Microsoft Word computers.
Someone donated a copy of today's paper.
Pond construction.
Printer advice.
"Computer says I need a username."
"Standing in the Shadows of Motown."
Pell Grant forms.
Monday's paper.
Printer help.
Computer crash.
Computer crash.
Automotive schools.
Internet advice.
You need to give yourself a username, ma'am (repeat, the second time replace "ma'am" with "sir")
"My mom needs tax forms. I don't know which ones."

In the Afternoon:

"City Directory. ... Got the other one?"
English dictionary.
"Duet for one," by Tom Kempinski.
Books about Margaret Atwood (actually he just needed a bibliographic record).
Magazines about crafts.
"NFL Follies" video.
"Where do I check this out?"
"Catcher in the Rye," by J. D. Salinger.
Printer instruction.

Internet Signups: 50
The copier button seems to be fixed.

Monday, May 19, 2003

In the Morning:

Printer help.
"Why did only 12 scambled words come up. I wanted 20." I never did figure out what she was talking about.
You need a period after the www, ma'am.
It's spelled T-I-E.
A public terminal crashed.
"What's the number to the vehicle emission testing station?" Maybe if I had put the phone book in the right place it wouldn't have taken so long to answer.
You need to type @ after your username, sir.
A gentleman hands me his ID, yet I ask him his name. Why do I do this?
"How to you alphabetize a list in Excel?"
"Lucky," by Alice Sebold. Later she asked for other books on rape victims.
Computer crash.
Computer crash.
Computer crash.
Print server crash.
"Social Security," by Andrew Bergman, the search interrupted three times by computer crashes.
"How do I get a blank page to come up in Word?"
Computer crash.
"I need some copies made."
"Atrim," by Robinson Jeffers. Hello, Grangers!
Computer crash.
Computer crash.
Computer crash.
Computer crash.
Resume formatting.
Copy machine advice.

In the Afternoon:

Network down.
I tell people that I can't sign them up for an Internet terminal because the network is down, and they just stand there, staring into space.
One of them asks for three days worth of newspapers.
Microfiche machine explanation.
"Funny You Should Ask," by Marvin Terban.
Sorry, Sir, the network is still down (multiply by twenty and insert randomly into the remainder of the day).
Magic tricks, but he pretty much already knew where they are.
One of our large interior plate class windows shattered, just shattered. No one was hurt and it made a fascinating noise, like a crystal waterfall landing on soil.
"Books on prostitution, you know, whores?"
Blue book prices.
"Do you have PowerPoint?"
Someone from the County called to ask if any criminal activity had occurred on a particular street. Someone else referred her to us. She was dubious, with good reason.
Books on the Fifties.
Basement remodeling books.
"Math puzzles." Okay. I show him the books.
"Just math." Certainly. I show him the books.
"I need them in Spanish." Grr ...
"The Way Meat Loves Salt," by Ninn Jaffe.
Maya Angelou books.
The Guardian," by Nicholas Sparks.

Internet Requests: 44
Bad Copier Button: 1