In the Morning:

Librarian Y warns me about a woman at the copier.
A swarm of new patrons from the Philipines.
Christmas cookies.
A swarm of old patrons gets impatient while I help the new patrons. The three computer crashes didn't help.
In Hotmail, "Compose" now reads "New Message," confusing one patron.
1991 Honda Accord repair manual.
Ours is the "most complete library" he's ever been in.
Copier advice.
A brusque, twelve foot tall man orders me to find him law books, but at least he doesn't threaten me.
I hear an internet patron say "Argh." I save the day.
Debit card machine is over there, sir.
1993 Chevrolet van repair manual.
Printer advice.
The woman at the copier, who has ignored all my advice and squandered over a dollar, wants her money back.
Screwy display settings.
Piano keyboard technique.
Old Mac books.
Ford engine overhaul.
Sorry, sir, no typewriter.
That woman is still on the copier. I warn Librarian X.

In the Afternoon:

MacWrite Pro books.
Notary forms.
Local charity phone.
1992 Chevy Cavalier repair manual, especially the cooling system.
"Monster books?"
I sneak away to rent DVDs for the weekend.
"Robot books?"
Today's paper.
Today's paper.
Sorry ma'am, we can't reserve study rooms in advance. Sure, I'll let you speak to the department head ...
Christmas in Belize.
There must be a Chicken Soup book for Christmas ...
A request for a Social Security form interrupts my discussion with Techie X about Sarah Michelle Gellar and Scooby Doo.
I make my own rules, by LL Cool J.
Today's paper.
Simpsons books.
Looking for her daughter ...

Internet Signups: 47

This Nanette person is absolutely right, but I'm going to keep this up anyway.

In the Morning:

He shoves a book in my hands. "This is yours."
Currency trading, and he won't shut up.
Don't run (3 times)!
She left a document in the copier last night ...
He's surprised I can't appraise a book for him.
1991 Toyota Camry repair manual.
Italian-english dictionaries.

In the Afternoon:

Gwendolyn Brooks.
"Carnival of dreams," but whether a book, cd, what, he doesn't know.
They jump up and down. "We want Devil books!" "Yeah! Devil books!"
Local phone book.
"Excuse me sir. I am told by the gentleman over there that you are the gods and gurus of information on my particular ..." Will you ask the damn question already?
You can plug in a laptop over there, ma'am.
Sorry sir, I haven't seen your bag of medication.
David Pelzer books in spanish.
Throwing Christmas parties.
How to recharge a debit card.
A patron thanks me. I forget what I did for her.
Today's paper.
Lit crit for We wear the mask, by Paul Laurence Dunbar.
Storm Warriors, by Elisa Carbone.
"Books on Excel, Access, Lotus, you know ..."
Short order cook, by Jim Daniels.
Don't run!
He actually wants an AOL startup disk.
Local directions.

Internet Signups: 31

In the Morning:

Librarian Z says "I'll try not to infect you."
Astrology.
Computer crash.
Printer advice.
Printer advice.
Click print, you moron! (I didn't really say that)
Jane Fonda's workout book.
Scrap paper.
Love, by Toni Morrison, on tape.
Computer crash.
An alarm clock in her bag goes off.
Printer advice.
How the mind works, by Steven Pinker.
My replacement hasn't shown up ...
Today's paper.

Internet Signups: 57

In the Morning:

Two notarizations.
Romantic era.
The bell jar, by Sylvia Plath.
WPs are over there, ma'am.
White pages.
He can't open up a word document. I open it easily. Sometimes computers are like that, sir.
Computer crash.
Local newspaper from November.
"I want to look for jobs on the Internet."
Wrong newspaper. I give him some others.
Pay phone.
He still can't find the article. I give him more papers.
Printer advice.
All those books should be in the kid's section, ma'am.
A webpage crashes two computers.
Printer advice.
How to get to the A: drive.
Local military base job listings.
Saturday's paper.

In the Afternoon:
Stapler. He nearly drops it on me.
Three-hole puncher.
Copier advice.
Dictionary.
Local charity phone.
Immigration forms.
They havent seen each other in ages! And they're so excited they're shouting!
Screenwriting books.
God's gift to women, by Michael Baisden.
Poetry for a wedding plaque.
A child called it, by David Pelzer.
Tooth care.
Computer workshop schedule.
Computer workshop schedule.
Study room.
Food Pyramid.
Copier advice.
Great Depression.
Pencil returned. The next patron asks for it.
More pencils requested.
and more dictionaries.
Today's paper.
Computer workshop schedule.
Info on english currency. I thought he said "english equivalency." This slows the interview down.
Today's papers are out, ma'am.
Copier advice.
"French Renaissance"
Monster of God, by David Quammen.
I know why the caged bird sings, by Maya Angelou

Internet Signups: 43

In the Afternoon:

WPs are over there, ma'am.
I won't solve a math question so the patron gets upset, which leads to threats and an expulsion.
WP help.
Art of war, by Sunzi.
The threat leaves me unnerved, and another librarian covers my shift.

In the Evening:

My computer crashes.
Study room?
Copier advice.
Kate Chopin.
Internet terminal reboot.
Books about Macbeth essays.
All right, kids, out of the stacks now!
The Profiles in Courage video with Frederick Douglass.
Macbeth Cliff's notes.
"Comics?" but he loses interest halfway to the shelves.
The Crusades from the muslim's point of view.
We're out of local college catalogs..
Local paper article from September.
I fix the microfilm machine by turning it on.
Nursing aide exam books.
"Strategic reading," which to him means books on writing.
Sorry ma'am, we can't check out your books here.
INS I-131 form.
Math books.
Don't run! They never listen ...
Stapler.
I tell them over and over that it's closing, and they won't get off the internet terminals ...

Internet Signups: 5