In the Morning:

Lost ID.
Old newspaper microfilm.
"Are you open Sundays?"
"I need the Internet. I don't know how to work it." Oh, god.
Printer advice.
Divorce books.
Printer advice.
Valueline.
White and yellow pages.
Yesterday's paper.
Bathroom.
"Paperbacks?"
Home organization businesses in the area.
Art of war, by Sunzi
NADA used car price guide.
The bark canoes and skin boats of North America, by Edwin Tappan Adney and Howard I. Chapelle.
The winds of war, by Herman Wouk.
Fire insurance maps.
Our address.
What makes juries listen now, by Sonya Hamlin.

In the Afternoon:

The GED is now harder. Do we have the new exam books?
A woman was herding her child, if that makes any sense.
My bloody life: the making of a latin king, by Reymundo Sanchez.
Books on gang culture.
"Did you get the fax I sent?" No.
Who stole our box of tissue?
Microfilm advice.
"A computer is like a car with a lot of electrical gadgets. When they work, it's great, but when they don't, it's a pain in the ass. I don't have a computer, and I don't have anything electrical in my car except the lights. I had mechanical windows and the rain started and the water got in and I had to drive all the way with the window open." This lecture delivered while we downloaded and printed out a tax form for the gentleman. Then we had to teach him how to use the copier.
Today's paper.
Loan officer exam books.
Medical career books. The woman can't settle on a career.
The towers of the sunset, by L. E. Modesitt Jr.
Crossroads of twilight, by Robert Jordan.
Half of the patrons coming to the desk are loonies. Well, it is Friday afternoon.
Roadrunner, by Trisha R. Thomas.
Painting books.
How to get to another city.

Internet Signups: 41

In the Morning:

Printer advice.
They insisted we had quarterly street directories.
A job website which doesn't exist.
Yesterday's paper.
Talking books.
Manchild in the promised land, by Claude Brown.
Suffer the children, but she had no author.
"I need to print out a letterhead."
The June/July Sky and Telescope is missing.
Printer advice.
Masterplots 1976 edition. She's calling from New York because according to her Google search we're the only library that has it.
Book club signups.
Middle school textbooks.
Oh, god. A tour.
Printer advice.
Marketing and hotel management.
State handicapped building code.
The dharma bums, by Jack Kerouac.
Number of the local American Legion post.
Immigration forms.
Book club stuff.

In the Afternoon:

Trading up, by Candace Bushnell.
GED language practice exams.
Real estate license practice exams.
An introduction to music and art in the western world, by Milo Arlington Wold.
Black, white, just right, by Marguerite W. Davol.
I need a lunch box, by Hannette Laines.
Who's in rabbit's house? by Verna Aardema.
Living history, by Hilary Rodham Clinton.
Leap of faith, by Queen Noor.
Why I'm like this, by Cynthia Kaplan.
Pen.
The would-be GED student has never used a copier.
Printer advice.
June 6 newspaper.
"Something came up on my screen."
Phone book.
A guy has arrived to pick up a group. What group?
100 great science fiction stories, edited by Isaac Asimov.
Local employment office.
1991 Chevy Cavalier repair manual.
It costs ten cents, not a dollar. 0.1, not 1.0.
Printer advice.
It's hard to tell sometimes, but that guy was obviously stoned.
Introduction to the old testament prophetic books, by C. Hassell Bullock.
Printer advice.
Book club signup.

Internet Signups: 79

In the Afternoon:

Someone left their birth certificate at the copy machine.
Hotel occupancy census data records.
Specific divorce forms.
Her friend just had eye surgery and needed books on tape.
The old Oprah book list.
Deeds and other things neither of us understood.
Cities and population.
"Is a book in for me?"
"How do I get a library card?"
The bank where his account resided in 1977 is no longer there. Where did his money go?
Phone numbers to a library branch office.
1994 Ford Tempo repair manual.
Books by Dave Ramsey.
1994 Dodge Caravan repair manual.
She wrote a novel and wants a grant.
I chase off two kids running in the stacks.
East of Eden by John Steinbeck (courtesy of the NEW Oprah book list).

In the Evening:

"Are the clocks on the computers accurate? ... What about the clocks on the walls? ... What time is it?"
A patron needs to print her resume using special paper, and I can never remember what tray to use. We figured it out.
Valueline. Foul perfume.
A patron's floppy won't open on any computer.
The Color purple, by Alice Walker.
1991 Ford E-250 (or E-350) Van repair manual.
"Can we put these flyers in your window?" No.
Cortez Peters championship keyboarding.
GED books.
"A book called 'Iceberg Slim.'" She settled for Pimp.
"Business management and the rules of engagement."
Kama Sutra, also books on starting a home business.
"Smile, at least it's dry in here," said an unsmiling, wet patron.
The genealogical expert wants me to do a genealogical search.
A patron wants the out of date "Million dads march" poster from the bulletin board.
The phone rings but no one's there.
The patron after the Dave Ramsey books comes in.
Copier advice.
A walk to remember, by Nicolas Sparks.
Info about our book sale.
Videos: House of Dracula, and Horror of Dracula.
Interlibrary loan followup.
"What time do you close?" Now.

Internet Signups: 23

In the Morning:

"Which computer am I on?"
Book renewal question.
Printer advice.
A patron thought we had her ID.
Printer advice.
Videos: Poland: a proud heritage, and Poland, an unforgettable nation.
Also videos on Warsaw.
"Where's the card catalog?"
Printer advice.
Newspaper.
Printer advice.
Restroom.
Copier advice.
Copier advice.
God don't like ugly, but not the book by Teresa L. Fry Brown.
Restroom.
Silver dollar prices.
Restroom.
1040 form.
Six BBC sound effects library CDs.
Ignore your teeth and they'll go away, by Sheldon B. Sydney.
Frozen monitor.
Newspapers from two weeks ago.
The Fellowship of the Ring, by J. R. R. Tolkien.
The Further Observations of Lady Whistledown, by Julia Quinn.

In the Afternoon:

Hit the "enter" button ... on the keyboard, ma'am.
Your book is on hold at the circulation desk, ma'am.
Reading club award.
"Books like Laura Ingalls Wilder ... clean books."
Today's paper.
"How do I get downstairs?"
Today's paper (Sorry, sir, all out).
Legacy, by Hancy Holder and Debbie Viguie.
A different newspaper.
They'll make change for you at the front desk.
"Is (another librarian) here?"
Spanish language instruction tapes.
While you were gone, sir, the paper came back, but now it's out again. Sorry.
Phone number for an NPR station.
"Record of domicile" form.
Books on child sexual abuse recovery and marital relationships. For his wife. Sigh.
Harry Potter and the sorcerors stone, by J. k. Rowling.
Printer advice.
Printer advice.
Freshwater aquariums.
GED classes in Spanish.
She asked for "history" books but really wanted books on ancient Egypt.
Another patron wanted "black history" books and settled on Martin Luther King, and later, Rosa Parks.
Astrology books.
General Ike, by John S. D. Eisenhower.
Pandering, by Heidi Fleiss.
No one's even bleeding, by Lenny Castellaneta

Internet signups: 49