I'm on a much-needed vacation. Back on October 20.

In the meantime you may enjoy Tangognat's ref grunting. And then there's Mr. Icontemplate, who takes a year and condenses it into one ref grunt post, though I suspect his memory is faulty. Surely his Internet count is too low ...

In the Morning:

Has an exam shown up for her? No.
Meeting room reservation.
Sorry, ma'am, you can't use that phone.
Our network software is buggy, so I reboot machines.
Push comes to shove, by Twyla Tharp.
A child called It, by David Pelzer.
Never encourage conversation with a patron doing genealogy.
Reboot.
Holds at the front desk, sir.
Love, by Toni Morrison.
Printer advice.
Bathroom.
Word processors are over there, sir.
Printer advice.
CDs are downstairs, sir.
She left a disc here on Wednesday.
Copier advice.
Phone number in another city.
Terre Haute area code.
Yellow pages.
Marriage records for the 1800s.
What brothers think, what sistahs know, and The sistahs' rules, by Denene Millner.
The grey zone, starring David Arquette and Mira Sorvino.
"Independent schools in the area."
Today's paper.

In the Afternoon:

She wants to sell us a copy of the book she wrote.
Librarian Q is getting whined at because she can't find a building ordinance.
Law library phone number.
Notarization.
The post office is a block that way and a block that way, sir.
Phone books.
If there was an ILL waiting for you, it would be at the front desk, sir.
Black Coffee, by Peggy Lee, and The Koln concert, by Keith Jarrett.
"Travellers aid."
Metaphysics, in spanish. She really wanted books on the paranormal.
Devil in a blue dress, by Walter Mosley. He settles for the video.
Circ clerks and I scramble to locate a missing hold, which was sitting exactly where it should be.
Book club book signup.
Printer advice. Some patrons get all pouty when I tell them we charge for printing.
Today's paper.
Address to submit his United States Secret Service job application.
"The thing ain't printing."
Returning to the desk I find a crumpled piece of paper with a patron's name and a few titles. I think I'm supposed to get them for her.
There are more online catalogs over there, sir.
Sorry, ma'am, we don't have that database, or that one.

Internet Signups: 33
Days until vacation: 0

In the Morning:

A patron can't get rid of the porn sites the previous patron was viewing.
Computer crash.
Try a machine that's turned on, sir.
"I need a couple copies made. Do I just put in the money and do it?"
I throw away a scrap of paper that a patron had scrawled an important phone number on.
Yes, sir, the copier will reduce.
I demonstrate the microfilm reader.
Printer advice.
There's a payphone in the lobby, sir.
Gardening books, my first reference question of the day.
Notarization.
Computer crash.
Computer crash.
Guitar tabs for Sleepwalk, by Larry Carleton.
Microfilm reader demonstration.
Perpetual calendar.
A lousy stinking salesman.

In the Afternoon:

"I need one of you Internet geniuses." Then go over there, sir.
"Is Librarian X there?"
Librarian Y and I discuss garlic, green onions and ginger.
English language instruction tapes.
2004 ASVAB book.
A book by Bernard Natheson, which I could not find.
Notarization.
Librarian Y got all the hard questions today.

Internet Signups: 29
Days until vacation: 1

In the Morning:

Some Harry Potter tapes.
I show her the YahooMail signup page.
I reset the printer.
Techie Y comes up and tears my computer to pieces. Unfortunately he puts it back together again.
"Is Librarian X there?"
Computer crash.
Phone book.
The machine hates his debit card.
Program signup.
The swimming dragon, by T. K. Shih.
The machine hates another debit card.
Printer advice.
Answer your damn cell phone ...
Computer crash.
Language barrier.
Copier advice.
Valueline.
The secret language of birthdays.
The mark of the angel, by Nancy Huston; and The growing seasons, by Samuel Lynn Hynes.

In the Afternoon:

Computer crash.
Antique prices.
Yellow pages.
Che Guevara.
Bruce Lee.
I leave the desk early to some real life things.

Internet Signups: 46
Days until vacation: 2

In the Morning:

"I need endangered birds, the laws, federal, state, city, for pigeons."
Human sexuality books for a child development project.
City directories.
I hope you saved your document, ma'am, because we have to reboot.
A nice old lady donates all of her Danielle Steel books to the library.
ESL classes in the area.
ESL classes in the area.
Her floppy crashes each one of our WPs.
August newspapers.
"Where's the printer?"
Weekend classifieds.
A patron manages to fill out the Yahoo Mail account form (to my surprise) but then realizes that she can't send her sheets of paper this way.
When a patron asks for a week's worth of newspapers, bring the following week as well.
"Can I post this?" I suppose.
Street maps.
ASVAB books.
Local map.
Books on Microsoft Access.
Message therapy.
Dictionary.

In the Afternoon:

The house on the lagoon, by Rosario Ferre.
We don't have your ID, sir.
There's no one in the state that I can find with that name, ma'am. Or that name either.
Copies of Poet's market, and others to check out.
"Are these all the computers that's in here?"
Paper jam in the microfilm copier.
Sunday's paper.
"Arroroar" = Art of war. The patron stares at the cover. "This isn't by Machiavelli."
How to break into commercials.
"Do you have Yahoo I can download?"
Dictionary.
Uncle Tom's cabin, by "Harriet Beechum."
WPs are over there, sir.
"Where can I get a membership card?"
Yesterday and today's paper, also a name lookup in Michigan.
Last Wednesday's paper.
She wants "West side stories," but not the musical. In the end she doesn't have enough additional info to help me out.
Dog training books.
"The book was here yesterday."
Tissue.
Today's paper is out. So is yesterday's.
Librarian Y gets: "Is 'Sunshine on my shoulders' based on a book?"
September newspapers.
Out of the stacks, kid.
We don't have nearly enough books about winemaking, but maybe we shouldn't encourage anyone.
Octavio Paz.
He is going through every shelf, examining every book with a black spine.
Techie X reports that one by one the public terminals are locking up. It's like watching the spread of a virus.
A patron calls and asks if the computers are working. He must have had a premonition.
I point out and demonstrate a great number of research sources for a woman I find attractive.
J. C. Penny phone number.
"You just call me a bitch?" No one knows what he is talking about.
There are four teenage kids at the copier and they can't figure out which way to turn the paper.
I refill the microfilm printer.

Internet Signups: 49
Days until my vacation: 3

In the Afternoon:

Printer advice.
Tape.
"Oh, geez, I dialled the wrong number, sorry."
Our city population, the library's total square feet, and number of items we own. Surprisingly hard to find.
A patron picks up his lost ID.
Harry Potter and the sorcerer's stone, by J. K. Rowling (tape).
Poetry. No particular poet, poem, time period, country, whatever. Just poetry.
Kill and tell, by Linda Howard.
Printer advice.
Phone book for a nearby community.
Local manufacturing and services directories.
Local map.
Printer advice.
Change at the front desk, sir.

In the Evening:

Pencil.
Program signup.
That's not the printer, ma'am.
"Can anybody help me with this machine over here?"
Pencil.
Pen.
Books of "fabrics." "Like how cotton and wool are made." Actually she wanted books on textile manufacturing.
"Can we use any library card here?"
"Computers, right?"
The infinite plan, by Isabel Allende.
That's not an online form, sir. You have to print it out.
Out of the stacks, kids. Stop hitting him with that book.
Books about Marie Louise Elisabeth Vigee-Lebrun.
A child uses an online catalog to play Rachmaninoff.
Address to a circuit court.
Our easy reading books for adults are no longer there. It's just empty shelf. Both the patrons and I are mystified.
Don't run! The kid didn't even look up.
Outside, the car fire has been doused.
A patron tells everyone within earshot how long it took to print his document.
Program signup.
I reset an online catalog.
Keep it down, please.
Dictionaries to take home. Dang, we're out again.
Biographies. All of them.
"Do you have 'Consumers buying guide?'" Which one?
Yay, the little middle-schooler found the book herself!
A man walks out of his way to thank me. I didn't even help him.
Stapler.
Don't run!
Printer advice.

Internet Signups: 12
Days until my vacation: 4