In the Morning:

I'm less awake than usual this morning.
"How do you get that copier started? It's got too many buttons!"
Floppies for sale at the front desk, ma'am.
2000 VW Passat repair manual.
Copier advice.
Librarian Y and I discuss strange and painful methods of execution.
Are you sure you don't have your ID with you, ma'am? (She did)
Yesterday and Saturday's papers.
Computer crash (Next time, ma'am, just press enter).
A man wants to look at sex offenders online.
Computer crash.
Computer crash.
"I'm throwing a block party, and I need Limbo music."

In the Afternoon:

"Music on cassettes?"
Dictionaries you can check out.
Consumer Reports.
He has a list of Caudhill winners to look up.
More Consumer Reports. The first patron is happy to share.
Bartlett's quotations, a "biographical reference book" (whatever that is), and an almanac. The girl is learning how to do research on a beautiful Friday afternoon. I don't know if I approve or not.

Praise for Librarian X. This afternoon she came out to help out a guy who doesn't speak english and had a legal problem. It took a half hour, and she talked with him and made calls on his behalf to places. I don't know what his problem was, but he was obviously told by government offices who don't care to "go to the library" because we would have the answers, or the forms. We don't. Librarian X was the only person who cared, took the time, and (Yesss!) phoned and reprimanded the assholes in the offices who had blown off the patron. Librarian X Rocks!

Sorry, ma'am. We don't tutor kids.
I find the consumer info the second lady wanted (replacement windows) online. She thanks me by urging me to see The lion king.
Don't run!
Printer advice.
I'm starving.
Techie X announces again that he is "King of the Internet," but he always says this when it's quiet.

Internet Signups: 21

In the Morning:

"Can I chat on these computers?"
Today's paper.
We try to look up a sex offender.
Our next book sale is in November, ma'am.
Librarian Y gets: "You got books on the Earth?"
Computer Crash.
Constitution study guide in spanish.
"I need books on investments, taxes, things like that." The patron is trying to figure out one page torn out of a legal document. The poor, deluded soul.
Printer advice.
Copies cost ten cents, ma'am.
Real estate, the world's greatest wealth builder, by Carleton H. Sheets.
Printer advice.
Copier advice.

In the Afternoon:

A big long list of artistic styles and epochs to be defined.
"Am I headed in the right direction for the men's room?"
Phone number for a local cultural center.
"You don't have the geometry book from the school, huh?"
A map to the "city of Wisconsin." I compound the problem by handing him a gazetteer for the wrong state; then I wonder why he looks so confused.
"Atlases?" asks a girl. I tried to get her to narrow it down, I swear!
Red Hat 9 books.
"Do you have articles on domestic violence?"
Don't run!
Today's paper.
"Paper clip? Small!"

Internet Signups: 34

In the Morning:

Librarian X makes a triumphant return. Well, not really triumphant; she's still under the weather.
Videos?
"Why don't you have vols 2, 3 and 6 of the Wheel of Time series?" We do, lady.
He's taking a test on maintainance and custodial work and needs books on horticulture, automobile repair, stain removal, etc.
Two internet users kicked off in the first hour.
The date of Easter Sunday in 2004.
Phone book.
A quick rundown of our Internet policy for two nice ladies.

In the Afternoon:

Scanner?
Ultra Black Hair Growth II, by Cathy Howse.
Criss cross.
A different mirror, by Ronald Takaki, The bluest eye, by Toni Morrison, and Reservation blues, by Sherman Alexie.
"I need books that have a man and a woman working together to help the community ... in Spanish."
"Human reproduction ... and the baby"
I show a patron how to search other library catalogs.
Some patrons get upset when I tell them they have to pay for printouts.
Yesterday's paper.
Oliver! on CD. What an obnoxious patron.
Some local travel books.
"I need to know how to make a resume (she pronounces it re-zoom)?"
Computer crash.
In Patagonia, The songlines, and On the black hill, by Bruce Chatwin.
Printer advice.
More printer advice.
Still more printer advice.
You don't have to tell us when you're done with the computer, ma'am.
Printer advice.
Resume formatting advice, well, I try, anyway ...
"Do you have a catalog you can look up books online?"
The english governess at the siamese court, by Anna Leonowens, and The razor's edge, by W. Somerset Maugham.

Internet Signups: 39

In the Morning:

"Did they ever write a book about Jeffrey Dahmer?"
"You know the web address for job searches?"
Naked Warriors, by Francis Douglas Fane.
Stapler.
Aztecs and Aztec art.
"Maps and cities, just general."
Investors business daily.
Mexican Folklore.
GED training.
"Where's 302.2 at?"
Books by Rose Lehman and Desmond O'Grady.
Printer advice.
Extensive resume formatting advice I am not qualified to give.
"Gender importance in babies, in Spanish?"
Computer workshop questions.
1991 Toyota Corolla repair manual.
Chihuahua pregnancy information.
The secret life of bees, by Sue Monk Kidd.
"Can you print in legal size?"
Printer advice.
Librarian Y reports: "Librarian X is missing!"

In the Afternoon:

"Speak Spanish?" No.
"You have a book on Bavaria I once checked out with lots of pictures ..."
The scarlet mansion., by Allan W. Eckert.
Chicago by gaslight, by Richard Lindberg.
The devil in the white city, by Erik Larson.
The old man and the sea, by Ernest Hemingway.
Patterns: A short prose reader by Mary Lou Conlin.
Printer advice.
Chess books.
Wedding planner books in Spanish.
Resume books.
Donald Goines books.
Oliver! sheet music.
"Maps of the English islands, with the states and countries."
"Books on drawing, and shading?" Shaving? "Shading." Oh, sorry.
I reset the online catalog.
"How many pixels in an inch?" One of my workshop regulars.
The other woman, by Eric Jerome Dickey.

Librarian X is sick. She was supposed to work tonight with Librarian Z, who can't handle it alone. Who can they turn to? Me, of course! Besides, I can use the flex time.

In the Evening:

True to the game, by Teri Woods.
The crucible, by Arthur Miller. Classes have definately started again.
Two notarizations.
Pencil?
Pen?
Librarian X is beloved. Her being sick has disappointed more than one patron.
"Medical assistants." She eventually walks off in a huff.
"Nursing assistants." This girl is nicer, but all the books are still gone.
Tissue?
Letters from Rifka, by Karen Hesse.
Printer advice.
Articles on "nursing." I hate school.
El alquimista, by Paulo Coehlo.
Rodale's encyclopedia of indoor gardening.
More resume formatting advice I shouldn't be giving.
Printer advice.
Little house in the big woods, by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Try the kid's section.
The mac is not a typewriter, by Robin Williams.
These 12-hour workdays suck.
Missing keys returned!
A child is being tortured.

Internet Signups: 38