In the Morning:

Texas sunrise, by Fern Michaels.
Type your barcode in there, sir.
Herbal supplements.
You need a library card to use the computer, sir.
A missing insurance card is found, left on the copier glass.
Type your barcode ...
Our online databases won't work ...
You need a library card ...
Type your barcode ...
Worse than Watergate, by John Dean.
I don't know why Amazon's "one click ordering" isn't working for you, sir.
No cell phones, sir, at least when you talk as loud as that.
Fax.

In the Afternoon:

Notarization.
"Biblical Couseling."
Type your barcode ...
In evil hour, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Open your mind and be healed, by Johnnie Coleman, and the latest Oprah book.
The two Babylons, by Alexander Hislop.
Carpentry books.
Type your barcode ...
How to attach a file.
The computer's just slow, sir. There's nothing I can do.
"Books to teach motivation."
Yesterday and today's paper.
Copier advice.
Reboot.
You can't use your own paper in the printer, sir.
Reboot.
Type your barcode ...
Type your barcode ...
You need a library card ...

In the Morning:

State tax form. Two copies.
They'll look up your barcode at the front desk for money, sir.
Our accountant borrows our copy of Morningstar, which troubles me somehow.
All you need to do is type your barcode in, ma'am.
Consumer info for lawn mowers.
City directory.
Madame C. J. Walker.
How to fight cancer and win, by William L. Fischer.
She works on her document for nearly an hour and doesn't bother to save it ...
Project management for dummies, by Stanley E. Portny.
Reset fails. Time to reboot. She is convinced computers hate her in particular.
How to get a library card? Wrong desk.
Newspapers we don't have on microfilm.
"Books on ancient battles. Troy and Spartacus."
1040 instructions.
The PC doesn't like his barcode. Whoops, it does now.
Type your barcode there, ma'am.
Their eyes were watching God, by Zora Neale Hurston, and The adventures of Huckleberry Finn, by Mark Twain.
Two more reboots.

In the Afternoon:

I smell burning plastic ...
City directory.
A credit union asks us to do a criss-cross.
Two reboots.
Books on the forties.
Type your barcode in there, sir.
Books on the '40s.
Sunday's paper.
Stuff about Jack Horkheimer and comets. I google "Greetings, greetings, fellow star gazers." Then he wants to know all about snoezelen.
Shut up!
Reset.

In the Afternoon:

Reboot.
Reset.
Reboot.
Reset.
The quiet American, by Graham Greene.
Reboot.
"I need a book on how to own a car."
Reboot.
Reset.
Quiet!
You need a library card. Since a month ago.
Local ordinances for washing your car on the grass.
A child called it, by David Pelzer.
Reset.
They'll look up your barcode at circ, sir.
"I gotta go to Google, but it won't let me."
Reboot.
Shut up! Twice!
Make that three times!
WPs are over there, ma'am.

In the Evening:

Walk like a man, starring Howie Mandel.
"Books on the history of the '80s."
No matter how many times we explain our internet login system, that old lady will not understand.
They'll look up your barcode number at circ, ma'am, for money (This amuses her).
Art in the '90s.
Reboot.
You're too young to use the computers up here, thank god.
Printer advice.
Pancho Villa, Leo Tolstoy, and others.
Reboot.
"Is Techie X there?"
Key to the bathroom.
She wants to fit a certain amount of boxes into a "master carton."
I kick a boy off the machines.
Computer workshop schedule.
Her phone is cut off, she just lost her sister, she doesn't understand why she needs a card to use the computer.
Grants for business.
Reboot.
Your little sister needs to keep it down, kid.
Library cards at the front desk, ma'am.
He's shocked not that he has to type in his barcode, but because he has to type in all twelve digits.
Books on running a custodial business.
Computer workshop schedule. People keep asking for them but no one ever shows up.
Printer advice.

In the Morning:

You know, I actually like working the desk Monday mornings ...
Type your barcode in there, sir.
A long, semi-fruitless search for a publishing house that could be in three different states.
Type your barcode in there, sir.
A total stranger passes by and calls me "Mr. Peter."
Careers in modeling.
Copier advice.
How to recharge her debit card.
Yes, we have papers from the fifties, sir, but we do not have an index.
Notarization.
Printer advice.
... Because Monday mornings are so quiet.

It turned out I read the schedule wrong. I should have covered the desk for two more hours. I left poor newbie Librarian R all alone and it got busier. Sorry, Librarian R.