In the Morning:

"Gonna be an interesting day," says Techie Y. This is not a good thing to hear.
I am joined by Librarian D, a new part-timer.
The Gettysburg Address, and "black music."
Can I help you? (click)
Printer advice.
Printer advice.
Shut up.
She wants to put a bunch of posters up.
BMW books.
Books in Tagalog.
Computer workshop schedule.
Driving directions via MapQuest.
You can ask for a library card at the front desk, sir.
Recycle bin?
1986 Buick LeSabre Wagon repair manual.
Where's my replacement?
That's not a copy machine, sir. That's a printer.

In the Afternoon:

I am told to go and do virtual ref in my office.

Later in the Afternoon:

Map schedule.
Train schedule (different patron).
Our "elected officials" notebook has the wrong mayor in it. Oops. Librarian D, on his first day, spotted the error.
"You got a basic high school dictionary?"
Dictionary.
5 minutes to go and he wants to know how to load the microfilm.

Librarian Y please come home. The patrons are crying for your forgiveness.

In the Morning:

Pencil.
Lost disk.
Computer workshop schedule.
Copies are a dime, sir.
Scissors.
How to doublespace.
The margins are already there, ma'am.
For some reason "Print" won't work.
1993 Hyundai repair manual.
Tape.
More printer advice.
More.
And still more.
Baby names.
Stapler.
Physiology.
I turn off his machine and he continues to stare at the now-blank screen.
Yesterday's paper.
Stapler.
Can I check this out?
Magnifying text.
That's a card catalog, sir, not an internet machine.
The time.
Selling used cars.
A design on a work of cut glass, which he brought and insists on showing it to me.
Copier advice.
Novels on japanese immigration.
Printer advice.
Where's a copier that's working?
A night to remember, by Walter Lord.

In the Evening:

WPs are over there, sir.
The Source magazine, or any hip-hop periodicals.
They'll break a fiver at circ, sir.
War of the gold-fo? What's that? (The Gulf War)
Printer advice.
Her keyboard stopped working.
Cartas a Ricardo, by Rosario Castellanos.
Shut up, kid (twice).
Cartas a Ricardo / Rosario Castellanos
My bloody life : the making of a Latin King / Reymundo Sanchez.
Stapler.
British imperialism. The poor middleschooler ...
Printer advice.
Tax forms are over there, ma'am.
Did she format the line of poetry on her paper correctly?
Jaime Escalante.
I leave to teach a computer workshop. I come back.
Sorry, no fax machine.
Front desk will make change, sir.
Our page is stuck in the elevator!
"Movements of indigenous peoples in Ecuador."
1040EZ
Printer advice.

Librarian Y please come home. We've kept the pile of review mags just as you left them.

In the Morning:

What happened in 1988.
Our fathers, by David France.
I extend an ILL.
State tax forms.
Stapler.
"I can file taxes for free?" I shrug.
Passport status.
How to log into a website.
HTML.
How to open a file on his disk.
The South Beach diet, by Arthur Agatston.
Paper clip.
How to upload her resume on CareerBuilder.

In the Afternoon:

Pencil.
The next computer workshop in spanish?
He thanks me for something I long ago forgot about.
I wish this woman would wait for a computer somewhere else.
Copier advice (Put money in, sir).
They'll make change at the front desk, sir.
More copier advice (Choose letter size paper, sir).
A sudden glut of microfilm users.
More more copier advice (Your change is down there, sir).
Scissors.
Stapler.
Tape.
Abigail Adams.
Don't run!
I told you yesterday, lady, you can't load AIM on our machines.
Can I help you? (click)
There's a tour of small, loud children.
Romeo and Juliet.
He has an old newspaper ("No Hope Left--1500 Dead") he wants laminated.
FAFSA forms.
Printer advice.
Directions.
Two men examine the reference counter surface in passing. I think they're in the trade.
Bathroom.
Pencil.
Criss-cross.
Someone helped her the other day, we later phoned herl, but she has no idea why. Neither do we.
Sun worship.
Another criss-cross.

Librarian Y please come home. I'll never poke fun at your weird lunches again.

In the Morning:

Printer advice.
More printer advice.
Sorry sir, Glorious appearing isn't out yet.
Baby names.
Where to get a phone book.
The spelling of "Tremendously."
Sorry, I can't read our computer workshop schedule over the phone.
Shut up! (several times, to our homeless friends)
Copier advice.
Tax counseling info.
Benjamin's ghosts, by Gerhard Richter.
Phone number for a local lawyer.
Copier advice.
"They told me to come here to get divorce forms."
Bus lines to correctional facilities.
I fax a computer workshop schedule.
Phone for the local animal control.
Stock quotes from 2003. The man laughs at everything I say.
What kind of file do you need to print, sir?
He did not read a sign, a copier took his money, and he's mad at me.
Pipe fitting.
Everyone seems to think I'm their best buddy today. It's driving me nuts.

In the Afternoon:

The souls of black folk, by W.E.B. Du Bois.
The sixteenth round, by Rubin Carter.
Someone at circ strangles another baby.
More divorce books.
"Excuse me, sir, I need you to get me started on the internet."
Today's paper.
"Excuse me again sir, I need you to get me started on the internet again."
The workshop started at 2. She comes at 2:40 and wonders where everyone is.
An internet question: "I don't see the car."
The third request for divorce forms today.
Reboot.
Copier advice, or "Sir come here please."

Later in the Afternoon:

Psychotherapy east and west, by Alan Watts.
I believe he can't get the web page to come up because he's never used the internet. He can barely use a mouse.
Today's paper.
Okay, it's not like the patrons think I'm their best buddy today. Rather, they're laughing at their own especially (for a Tuesday) stupid jokes.
Too young for the internet, kids. "Wait until next year!"
Tax forms are over there, ma'am, and you can download the ones we don't carry.
He's lost the website again. I knew this would happen.
Immortal beloved.
We nearly lose a man's ID.
She tells two girls: "I'm not bringing you guys to the library again.".
Front desk will sell you a floppy, sir.
Bodybuilding.
We nearly lose another ID.
Part of the Wall Street journal is missing. He's going to speak to the manager.
He went from "books on religion" to "books that show you that religion is good."
Papers from 1994.
Awakening, by Cate Tiernan. Not The awakening, by Kate Chopin. The patron mumbled a lot.
Egyptian art.
Microfilm reader advice.
Break dancing.
Printer advice.
"I have to write a ten-page paper about Imperialism." And I want to strangle her teacher.

In the Evening

She wants to know how to download and use program we don't allow.
7 days of newspapers.
Printer advice.
More printer advice while she tells me how much better another library is.
Real estate law.
General law (different patron).
She has to read a short story for class. Any story. She has no idea.

Librarian Y please come home. Or I'll steal your office supplies.

In the Afternoon:

"Where does the photocopy come out?"
Cookery, dogs and weight loss.
"I have no idea how to get to the information on my disk."
Bathroom.
Counseling children, I think. He was vague.
Copier advice.
The workshop will be in that room, ma'am.
A missing ILL.
Scratch paper.
Counseling children (the patron's partner).
Diego Rivera.
There's a workshop in that room now, ma'am.
A play called Do not go gentle. I have to assume it's this one.
There's a workshop in that room now, sir.
Background on "The world histories of civilization" and the publisher, World Publishing Company.

In the Evening

There's a payphone in the lobby, sir.
Of mice and men, by John Steinbeck.
Her book doesn't list the publisher's home.
A short explanation of the Dewey Decimal System.
Birth notice from 2001.
Our books in spanish.
Tax assessors office.
Copier advice.
Guillotines.
"Age of ..." something or other. I forget now.
DNA.
Reboot.
"Is computer 13 ..?" What?
"The Dewey Decimal System number for bankruptcy."
Reboot.
Another dissatisfied internet user.
Sir, I'm not bloody tech support. If you want that device driver you need to come in.
Omar Tyree books.
"Are the internets backed up tonight?" Oh, yes.
God's gift to women, by Michael Baisden. Damn it, why can't people remember their library cards?
Police Brutality.
Genesis of the grail kings, by Laurence Gardner, and books about Constantine I.
I somehow fix the microfilm printer problem, to the astonishment of both myself and the patron.
Sorry ma'am, voter registration is closed now.
Sunday paper.
The $50 and up underground house book, by Mike Oehler, and Living well on practically nothing, by Edward H. Romney. He comes back for Eat Well for 99 cents a meal, by Bill and Ruth Kaysing.
Her document won't print, but she has no time to solve the problem and leaves.
Computer workshop schedule.
Costume design.
Obits from 1972.
Copier advice and the menace of zooming.
Twenty minutes to go and she's going to start a resume.
Pencil.
They'll sell you a disk at the front desk, and they'll break a fiver too.
Printer advice.
Microsoft FrontPage

Librarian Y please come home. Nothing is forgiven. I know. I'm stealing Dorothy Parker here ...