In the Morning:

Small business books.
Young Hickory, by Martha McBride Morrel.
Today's paper.
No signup. "I sign up here?"
Pencil and paper.
Today's newspaper.
Copier advice.
AA books.
Printer advice.
The glass menagerie, by Tennessee Williams.
Our school district's spring break.
The murder room, by P. D. James.
Books on writing letters.
The stairway is over there, ma'am.
Printer advice.
"I don't know how to use the computer. I need to visit a webpage."
Today's paper.
"Do your computers read DVDs?"
Back issues are over there, ma'am.
1989 Ford Cougar repair manual.
Computer workshop schedule.
Italian cooking.
Pencil and paper.
Train schedules.

In the Afternoon:

When you want a newspaper article it helps to have the date, or a subject more specific than "There was a fire."
Nearby post office.
"Books on saturated solutions." What class is this for? "Science."
Very pretty young woman, but oh, her breath ...
Copier advice.
Printer advice.
Printer advice.
Printer advice.
Printer advice.
Printer advice.
Stapler. The printer streak is over.
Plastic injection molding.
A color print job came out blank.
Turn off the audio, sir.
Blue screen of death.
To send email, ma'am, you need an email account.
Copier advice.
Credit repair books.
Missing disks recovered.
Books by Frederick Noad.
Raphael.
Any Star wars books she can find.
Not Raphael, but Rafael Ferrar.
Printer advice.
Copier advice.

Times I had to tell people we don't sign up Internet users anymore: 42

Starting January 2 we will no longer sign up people for Internet terminals. In honor of this I will for the last time include the signups with the rest of the events.

In the Morning

Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Printer advice.
Internet signup.
Printer advice.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Living history, by Hilary Rodham Clinton.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup. "This is all kind of new to me."
Click on the grey bar, ma'am. No, use the mouse and click on the grey bar ... Move the curser to the bar and click ... Use the left mouse button ... Try not to nudge the mouse while you're clicking ... don't keep the button pressed down ...
"What time do you close?"
Internet signup.
Printer advice.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Lost ID.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
The spelling of "segue."
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Today's paper.
Looking for her ID, she dumps every item she's carrying on the desk.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Printer advice.
Busted keyboard? No, the number lock was off.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Printer advice.
Click on "Proceed to checkout" ma'am.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Computer workshop schedule.
The spelling of "exists."
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
He's lost his gloves.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Books on writing poetry.
Internet signup.
His browser is cutting off text.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Printer advice.
Internet signup.
Change at the front desk, ma'am.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Monday and Tuesday papers.
Internet signup.
Printer advice.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Internet signup.
Tax assistance info.
Happy New Year, I think.

In the Morning:

Printer advice.
Printer advice.
Printer advice.
Catalog reboot.
Pit bull, by Martin "Buzzy" Schwartz.
Don't run! And don't eat!
Tax forms.
A letter to the editor. "I don't believe my friend could be that inflammatory." She is.
Pencil.
Don't eat! And don't run! (same patron).
No cell phones, sir.
Donald Goines books.

In the Afternoon:

Force heretic I, by Sean Williams.
"How long we have to put quarters in the meters?"
Biographies and Virginia Woolf.
EE bond interest rate in 1996.
Power company phone.
The glass menagerie, by Tennessee Williams.
Another library's phone.
The ultimate weight solution, by Phil McGraw.
Dictionary.
Fiction is over there, ma'am.
Stapler.
Today's paper and yesterday's.
Paper jam.
"Spanish language, mainly the alphabet."
Today's paper.
Men's room?
A nice old lady wants to design web pages.
Can I help you? "Just looking."
The latest James Patterson novel.
Watercolors. Lordy, what breath.
Diabetic cookbooks.
Goodbye, good men, by Michael S. Rose.
Pregnancy books.
Stapler again.
Pencil.
Today's paper.
Don't run!
Pregnancy books.
Articles on european unification.
Great expectations, by Charles Dickens, and Silence, by Nancy Holder.

Internet Signups: 39

In the Afternoon

City directories going back to the 1930s, in 5-year intervals.
Computer workshop schedule.
Pen. We're out.
Tax forms.
Sunday paper.
Don't run!
Bible.
Illustrations of camels. "I want to get a head start on next year. I nearly got the manger laid out. We gotta get back to the true meaning of Christmas."
More city directories.
"I know three girls there are on your computers looking at Playboy, and it's disgusting. I'm coming in to take care of business."
The time.
Still more city directories, and a topographical map. If the patron wasn't so cute I'd be annoyed.
Grizzly, starring Christopher George.
Career tests.
WPs? Over there.
Books by the Pope.
Yellow pages.
"Is (a patron) there?"
Local shelter. A second homeless guy helps us find it.
Miniature houses.
How to make pottery.
"Any chance you getting the paper card catalogs back anytime soon?"
Audrey Hepburn.
The Da Vinci code, by Dan Brown, Big bad wolf, by James Patterson, and Is Paris burning? by Larry Collins.
More city directories, for a different patron.
Microfilm.
Pencils.
How to turn on the microfilm reader.
Missing floppy.
CLEP exams for microeconomics.
Spanish instruction CDs.
Tax forms.
Stapler.
How to reset the microfilm reader.

In the Evening:

You're too young to use the Internet up here, kid.
Catalog reboot.
Vikki Vanishes, by Peni R. Griffin.
The Oakland Athletics team roster.
Coming of age in Mississippi, by Anne Moody, and Go tell it on the mountain, by James Baldwin.
Two giggling teen girls want "physical education" (i.e. sex) books.
A calm teen girl wants witchcraft books, including Wicca covens, by Judy Harrow.
Conde nast traveller magazine.
Don't run!
And shut up!
River god, by Wilbur Smith.
Email addresses for Herbie Hancock, Bill Cosby, Richard Pryor, Sam Kinnison, and Men at Work.
Pencil.
The microfilm machine ate five dimes.
Soulmates Dissipate, by Mary B. Morrison.
Catapults and siege warfare.
He needs more Anne McCaffrey.

Internet Signups: 18