In the Morning

Fire alarm! We stand out in the snow for a few minutes.
Tax workshop info.
Children's Depression Inventory (CDI).
An issue of Insight.
The murder room, by P. D. James.
He uses his own paper in the printer, and doesn't screw it up.
Stapler.
Yes, some of our machines have XP.
Scratch paper.
Try doubleclicking, sir.
Donation.
The perfect wife,, by Ann Gerhart.
More scratch paper.
"If I order something on the Internet do I pick it up here?"
Pharmagistics.
EIC forms.

In the Afternoon:

Two blank pages at the end of her copy. It's our fault. Her professor couldn't make such a mistake.
Someone's in the kitchen, by Eric E. Pete. She settles for Real for me.
Kelley price for a 1991 Corsica, and a bewildering conversation follows.
Printer advice.
She came here because her computer's packed up. Our computer network is driving her crazy. She's moving to Honolulu. I am not sympathetic.
One of our pages' knees is cracking, and somehow the discussion leads to us wishing there was a Taiko Network.
Today's paper.
Local tax forms.
No cell phones, sir.
Tax forms.
Twenty minutes passes and I'm enjoying the quiet.
Today's paper.
Hey, my computer crashed. That's something ...
She has enough computer questions for five people.
15 minutes before I leave: "I need to know how to use a computer. I need to look something up on the Internet."
"Can you look up a number on the Internet for me?" I use a phone book instead.
We don't have that typing program, ma'am.

No signup: 8

In the Morning:

Three men stare at the copier.
Washroom?
Visions across America, by J. Sterling Warner and Judith Hilliard.
The quarterback, by Terry Shea.
Lord of the rings in graphic novel format?
Videos are downstairs, sir.
Three computer workshop schedules.
Scratch paper.
Driver's ed book.
Copier advice.
Here in America's test kitchen.
Today's paper.
Men cry in the dark, by Michael Baisden, and Addicted, by Zane.
Robert's rules of order.
Today's paper.
Phone number for some in Rochester NY.
No ma'am, I don't know which genealogical website would be best for you.
"They said come to the library and go to the jobs website."
The new copier is so confusing patrons can't even figure out where the copy comes out.
100 years of solitude, by Gabriel Garcia-Marquez.
The spelling of "Nikki Giovanni" and "Emily Dickinson."

In the Afternoon:

Printer advice.
I think he just moved to down and wants all the information there is.
Nicholas Sparks books.
Printer advice and how to cut and paste, more than once ...
A patron who's so damn nice you want to throttle her, or at least find her book quickly so she'll go smile at someone else.
Books on alcoholism in spanish.
I'm getting a sore throat. Is it "a cold is coming" sore throat, or just a sore throat?
The life of Roald Dahl.
The printer is working fine, sir. Here's your copy down here.
Today's paper.
Not completely the same, ma'am. One's a second edition.
Books on Microsoft Word and basic typing.
Dancing naked, by Shelley Hrdlitschka. Lord, what a name. How do you pronounce that?
A cell phone is missing. I am partly sympathetic, partly relieved.
William Shakespeare.
Photosynthesis.
Stapler.
The Photograph, by Virginia Ellis.
Ma'am, I can't do anything about your fines. You're talking to the wrong department.
Try backspace and not delete, ma'am.
Tax forms.
We close at nine.
Phone book.
The call number is B LLC?" Are you sure?
Tax forms.
Stuff about Brianda Domecq, which takes forever.
"Any workshops tonight?"

No Signup: 14

In the Afternoon:

Bank statements on the Internet?
Printer advice.
Today’s paper.
Two microfilm reader lectures.
Disabled patrons and unintuitive online forms to not mix.
Copier advice.
The WPs are over there.
Zoning ordinances.
The final step in filling out the ILL forms, sir, is writing your name.
Science fiction is over there ... and there.
Charles Dickens.
The spelling of “Burroughs,” more than once.
Bipolar disorder, later Social Security Insurance books, then she went back to bipolar.
G. Gordon Liddy.
Songs of the gorilla nation, by Dawn Prince-Hughes.
If you want to save that image you’ll need a floppy.
“Books on the constitution.” Can you narrow it down? “You know, books on it.”
“I’m writing a paper about an author: Laura ... I can’t remember.”
“No sign up anymore? Why is that?”
He wants one of our business cards.
“Martial arts books?” he asks with slurring voice.
“Where are the LL’s?” asks the child. LL’s? “Never mind.”
Today’s paper.
Black Planet has one of the most confusing interfaces around.
Math books.
A friendly chat with the director.
Martin Luther King.
Debit card advice.
Isabel Allende.
Colts? The animal? Indianapolis? Baltimore? Oh, Quotes! My bad.
Another patron complains about our Internet policy, or lack of one.
Sorry ma’am, but I can’t run down the names and address of all the members of the House of Representatives over the phone.
Two reboots.
Just a guy doing his kid’s homework.
A book by Jessica Simpson.

No signups: 11

In the Morning:

Sir, if that's a free credit report, why are they asking for a credit card number?
"I need to talk with her. She's in the internet area, and it's an emergency!"
Copier advice.
Sorry, no fax.
Copier advice.
Printer advice.
Love in the time of cholera, by Gabriel Garcia-Marquez.
Change is at the front desk, sir.
Local map.
Copier advice.
"What's the website for jobs?"
"Which one of these forms is for the state?" Neither, ma'am.
Another state form request.
One hundred years of solitude, by Gabriel Garcia-Marquez.
Computer workshop schedule.
You want more copies of the form? There's the copier. Don't get upset with me.
For the third time, sir, press that button there.
Addicted, by Zane.
All about our book discussion groups.
Computer workshop info.
Where to send her election judge stuff to.
Phone for a local college.
Nutrition and physical degeneration, by Weston A. Price.
Copier advice.
Feng shui videos.

No signup leave me alone: 5

In the Morning:

I'm hoping the fact it's MLK day and cold as hell outside will keep things quiet.
How can he check the status of his tax form online?
Resumes attached to email? Okay. Where's your resume? ... You don't have one. Do you have an email account? ...You don't.
Anything about Martin Luther King on video.
Innocence Project contact info.
Tax counseling schedule.
Printer advice.
Change at the front desk.
"I didn't know you were open today!"
The picture he wants to upload is upside down. ... And it's way too large.
State tax form.
I learn Librarian Y is sick, so I have to work the evening as well.

In the Evening:

I wish there was a single website that lists all the scholarships, ma'am.
No, our overhead projector is not for loan. That administrator who "used to let you do it" has retired. Stop guilt-tripping me.
The guy wrestling with image files is back. I show him uploading for the third time.
Cds are downstairs, sir.
"Even the phone books are more complicated these days."
Printer advice.
Finally, the guy's image file is uploaded yay!
Printer advice.
I know we uploaded the picture. Why isn't it showing up?
Occupational outlook handbook.
Insurance licensing forms.
The picture prints that small because it's a thumbnail of the actual image, sir.
Copier advice.
A spellbook she saw a month ago.
Scrap paper.
Sheet music: Don't cry for me Argentina, and I believe I can fly.
We own no Fred Holstein? Shame!
After reading this I may have to rethink my blog ...
The patron does not ask me to print out the Oakland A's roster. Instead, he just says "Hello, Mister Peter," which is worse.

No Signups: 4