In the Morning:

I reset the printer.
The yellow pages she is using does not include churches.
Local phone number.
You need your library card to use the internet, sir.
Ditto, ma'am.
Birth certificate from Panola County MS.
The drama of the gifted child, by Alice Miller.
You need your library card, sir.
And ma'am.
A patron approves of our new internet signup system. Later, another patron steals his online session.
Once again the copier is smarter than the patron using it.
Pencil sharpener.
"How old is this web page?"
A walk on the beach, by Joan Anderson.
Morning devotionals.
Books on publishing poetry.
Volcanoes.
Reboot.
Life during wartime, by Keith Reddin.
"A book called 'Mister Landlord.'" Actually she wanted The landlord's kit, by Jeffrey Taylor.
Using a paperclip I rescue a library card from the floppy drive. The patron is both embarrassed and grateful.
Reboot.
Scratch paper.
Yes, we have PowerPoint. No, we don't have a scanner.
Biographies?
The status of an ILL.
Reboot.
Reboot.
You need a library card, ma'am.
Today's paper.
Printer advice.
Al Capone.
One hundred years of solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, and The heart is a lonely hunter, by Carson McCullers.
Lengthy help for a half-blind patron who is unfamiliar with the web and wants a site I can't locate.
Videos on segregation.
Don't run!
Kid's section is downstairs, kid.

In the Afternoon:

How to do two-sided copies on the glass.
A textbook. The patron keeps calling me by my first name.
Textbook.
Local shelters. "We got nowhere to go and we're just walking around and around ..."
Key of knowledge, by Nora Roberts.
Reboot.
Sorry ma'am, those are the only shelters we know about.
Reboot.
Twice he has come to the desk, placed the almanac he borrowed on the counter, changed his mind and walked away. He also does it with his ID card.
He calls to make sure we have books on photography, and Mark Twain.
No sleeping in the library, sir.
Microfilm reader lecture.
Reboot.
No all of Adobe Acrobat's print buttons work. Annoying.
How to save on a floppy.
Local art classes?
Literary criticism of A midsummer night's dream? You already found them. Yes, ma'am, the books you are holding have literary criticism. Good job!
Just walk over and type your barcode, ma'am.
True, he is a regular. He had no library card, and he wants to play internet chess. He acts like I'm a close friend. I say no. So much for our beautiful friendship.
Form 9465.
Every couple months I get a craving for Eno's Another green world. I sneak downstairs to get it.
We look and look but can't track down a Comiskey Street in Chicago.

In the Morning:

A lot of printer advice for three different patrons.
I sign up two "guests" for the internet.
One of our pages gets a phone call that really pisses him off.
Zane and Erik Jerome Dickey books.
More printer advice.
Word advice.
Much more general computer advice.
You need a library card to use the computer, sir.
Tax counseling phone number.
One hundred years of solitude, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, and The heart is a lonely hunter, by Carson McCullers.
Quilting.
Yes, ma'am there are plenty of websites for job hunters.
City directory.
Morningstar.
Computer workshop schedule.
Older city directories. I then need to show her how they work.
Resume books.
"I'd like to use the internet."
Deaths in Africa because of AIDS.
Local newspaper articles from 1998.
Librarian Y goes home sick but I think she just wants to miss a meeting.
Computer workshop schedule.
Type your barcode in there, sir.
Reboot.
Type your barcode in there, sir.

In the Afternoon:

Type your barcode in there, sir.
Stop calling me by my first name, sir.
The webpage he wants is taking forever to load, but I can't help him.
A liver transplant video.
The meanings of "Plight" and "Dilemma."
Today's paper.
How to play a conga.
GED books.
How many seniors are there in the United States, and how many of them are on medicare?
You need your library card to use the internet terminals, ma'am. No, you can't use your kid's.
Night, by Elie Wiesel.
The spelling of "Reoccur."
Reboot.
Printer advice.
Reboot.
You can pick up holds at the front desk, ma'am.
Kids around the world - Cook! by Arlette N. Bramam.
In that case you'll need to get a new library card, sir.
He's looking for his niece, who ran away two weeks ago.
I reset a print server.
The Bermuda Triangle.
I reset a print server while others butt into line.
Baseball's great dynasties: the Cubs, by Thomas G. Aylesworth. It makes no sense to me, either.
I reset a printer.
Reboot.
Newspapers going back two weeks.
You gotta be high school age at least to use the ones up here, kids.
Reboot.
I reset a printer.
The mermaid of Cafur, by Evelyn Foster.
Two final reboots.

In the Morning:

You apply for a library card at the front desk, sir.
You can talk to circ about getting a library card.
Is the printer working? Yes.
"Is Librarian Z there?"
Type your barcode in there, sir (twice).
One hundred years of solitude, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, and The heart is a lonely hunter, by Carson McCullers.
Printer advice.
Lit crit for A doll's house, by Henrik Ibsen.
You need to show your library card to the circ desk, sir.
"Is Librarian Z there?"
You can get a library card at circ, sir.
Library cards at the front desk, ma'am.
Ditto.
Yesterday's paper, since today's hasn't shown up yet.
A man talks strangely about Windows XP.
The boss won't be in until 2:00.
Type your barcode there, ma'am.
Consumer info on digital cameras and portable DVD players.

In the Afternoon:

I reboot my own computer.
Microfilm machine lecture.
Bathroom?
Printer advice.
"Is Librarian Z there?"
Copier advice.
Just type your barcode in there, ma'am.
"Is Librarian Z there?"
Today's paper.
Reboot.
'46 and '47 yearbooks.
Today's paper.
GED books.
Type your barcode in the first screen you see, ma'am.
Parenting older children ... "Seven months ... no, two
years ..."
The copier's over there, ma'am.
Reboot.
Printer advice.

Later in the Afternoon:

Thou shalt not grill, by Tamar Myers.
Shut up!
Printer advice.
More printer advice.
A request to ILL volumes of Ranma 1/2 leads to some manga recommendations.
Go and sit down at any machine and type in your barcode, sir.
"Where are the biographies?"
"What's the word mean: Aformation? Aformative?"
Autobiographies and biographies are all together, sir.
I reset a card catalog.
Computers with Office are over there. No, sir, we don't have WordPerfect. Why are you giving me a funny look?
Printer advice.
Copier advice.
Someone left a floppy.
I'll put that away, sir.
Someone left another floppy.
Reboot.

In the Morning:

Beautiful skin of color, by Jeanine Downie.
She wants to donate a Jehovah's Witness tract because "I want to make sure the truth is on the shelves along with all the other books."
Yesterday's paper.
Alternate spellings of the name "Hudson."
Today's paper.
State tax form.
Speeches of Eisenhower and Reagan. He has a happy smiling baby.
"There was a motorcycle crash in 1986 ..." I give my microfilm reader lecture.
Norman Rockwell.
Today's paper.
A different today's paper.
Blood canticle, by Anne Rice, on CD.
Mola, by Maricel E. Presilla.
The Lewis and Clark expedition.
Another library wants us to fax a poem.
All hell breaks loose. Two patrons on hold, two more needing help at the computers, and two waiting at the desk. Most of them give up.
Missing floppy.
An image of the breast cancer pink ribbon. She is delighted to learn about Google's image search.
Plan of attack, by Bob Woodward, but I put a hold on the wrong one.
Computer workshop info.
Fly in the Dust? Faulkner?
A transfer to ILL.

In the Evening:

Printer advice.
Reboot.
The status of an ILL, and do we have a phone book?
Articles on Jonestown.
Another dissatisfied computer user ("I was only on for ten minutes!")
Reboot.
Eyes on the prize, on video.
Gee, lady, I don't know if we accept that library's card or not. Ask over there.
Can you keep a secret? by Sophie Kinsella.
Reboot. Sigh. Reboot.
The Da Vinci code, by Dan Brown.
Reboot and reboot.
"Books on 'Creating the ideal desire for the future.'" She settles for books on business management.
The wave, by Morton Rhue.
Two computers reboot themselves.
The burglar on the prowl, by Lawrence Block.
Copier advice.
Lit crit on Frankenstein.
Copier advice.
Bus schedules.
"Didn't automotive books used to be around there?" He was one aisle off.
Reboot.
Lip reading.
Reboot.
Camus and existentialism. Again.
Today's paper.
Death penalty.
Reboot.
Nevada. Can she narrow it down? Of course not.
The stair is over there, sir.
Copier advice.
Who moved my cheese? by Spencer Johnson.
Yesterday's paper.
All he has of the call number is 616.8583 ...
Reboot. Yahoo is confounding our machines tonight.
Printer advice.
History of the guitar.
Langston Hughes reading on tape.
Printer advice, twice.