In the Afternoon:

A patron gives a circ clerk a lecture on the Dewey Decimal System..
The patron continues: "You got a basic idea what Johnson & Johnson do, don't you? Bandaids."
Whiteout, a fax and Christmas programs.
He comes back to check on a fax we sent this morning.
Printer advice.
Al Capone does my shirts, by Gennifer Choldenko.
Don't run!
The coldest winter ever, by Sister Souljah.
No cell phones, please.
Langston Hughes.
Directions in Chicago.
Every other day I have to tell that table to shut up.
Don't run!
Fax.
More directions.
Dreams.
All those computers have the Internet, sir.
Fax.
Librarian T discuss Jonathan Carroll books.
It's 5:00. Time for the Friday rush.
That little girl is cute and knows it, which is dangerous.
Bathroom's over there, ma'am. No key.
The Perricone weight-loss diet, by Nicholas Perricone.
Free newspapers are over there, sir.
Another loud girl settles down before I can go over and kick her (No, I wouldn't do such a thing).
I reset a printer.
I can't figure out what they wanted. Something about neepers.
The women's room toilets are "messed up."

In the Evening

Napoleon Dynamite.
Constantine.
Online GED classes.
Two volumes of Ingles sin barreras.
"Cold enough for you?"
Printer advice.
Copier advice.
Dictionary.
They'll break a ten over there, sir.
You renew cards over there, ma'am.
Printer advice.
Was that a duck I just heard?
The machine ate her dollar, she says, though it's working for me and everyone else.
Come to think of it, it is kind of cold in here tonight ...
Tae bo, and ESL materials.
Auto mechanic career info.
I hear the duck again.
Chaplin on DVD.

In the Morning:

Tissue.
He wants to get his credit report online, when he's never used a computer and can't read or write to boot.
Effectiveness of torture (no relation to the previous patron).
Two guys are here to fix the public printer.
Wilson databases and a runaround.
That man snorts every ten seconds.
First aid for the USMLE Step 1.
Keep it down, please.
I refill a tape dispenser.
Sorry, ma'am, I don't speak Spanish.
Yearbooks 1974-75.
Christ the Lord, by Anne Rice.
Just type in your barcode, sir.
It's awfully early for Librarian Y to start looking at cookbooks.
Wilfrid Brown and some other opera singer.
The microfilm is over there, ma'am.
Pen.
No cellphones, ma'am.
They're still working on the printer. They leave, they come back with another box.
The joy of signing, by Lottie L. Riekehof.
Keep it down, guys.
Cook books, especially desserts.
We print out a powerpoint thing for a patron.
Dictionary, or a map.
Email books.

In the Afternoon:

The printer repair guys are still here. Heart surgery takes less time.

Yesterday

An old man in a Cubs jacket and cap: "I'm so sick of hearing about the White Sox."

In the Morning:

I come in late.
The girls in their summer dresses, by Irwin Shaw.
Polkas from Slovenia.
A fax goes through after the fourth try.
The computer class is at one, ma'am.
Appointment in Samarra, by John O'hara.
The circ staff argues over who gets lunch.
Copier advice.
Sorry ma'am, you need a card to use the internet machines.
His first resume. I show him the books. Later, the templates.
Washrooms are over there, sir.

In the Afternoon:

A rumor of war, by Philip Caputo, and The longest day.
The second battle of Bull Run.
Two straight patrons with "The computer won't take my card" issues.
Copier advice.
Gee boss I don't know where that book is. Or that one.
Stapler.
"Is Librarian Q there?"
The harmonies for "Leaving on a jet plane."
Major Dundee, and Geronimo.
Microfilm reader advice.
Fax.
Where the hell did all the other librarians go?
Bonsai videos.
Lovesick blues, by Paul Hemphill.
Rhinoceros, by Eugene Ionesco.
I boast about my ability to remove stuck floppies, then I fail.
Try typing your name with the apostrophe, ma'am.
Librarians Y and K are discussing sandwiches. And pate.
"My card doesn't work on the computer."

The Other Day:

"Did my book get returned? I told the guy to bring the book in yesterday. I even gave him five bucks. If he hasn't returned it I'm gonna kill him."